My cat has been keeping a diary.

[twyg]

Disturbing. I found this under the sofa during a routine weekly cleaning...

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

[nkuvu]

[gamedog00]

This is great! It sounds a lot like these three stories I wrote... about my friends dog, about my guinea pig, and about a little girls teddy bear.

[xoot]

A reenaction of "Cats & Dogs?"

[satanicpoptart]

sometimes i think my cat wants to kill me to. she gives me the look like "put me down you bastard" all the time.....

[macguy17]

Hey. do ypu know my cat twyg? scary...

[twyg]

You know what macguy, 20 bucks says this is the scenario...

Cat 1: Sue, I still don't understand why the big ones keep calling you Isis, any way... Sue, run around really really fast at 10 to 3. I, Bob will pursue you. Then run into the room with the glass box. Once in there we'll convene and attempt communication to Sam (aka macguy's cat) via the glass box.
Sue (aka Isis): Ok Bob (aka Onyx) sounds like a plan... Do you think the skinny one will leave his computer on again?
Bob: One can only hope Sue. This time we must remember not to have the glass box go blank.

By the way everyonce in a while my computer completely shuts down... Coincidence? I think not...

[genghiscohen]

My wife often comments that if our 6 cats were the size of lions, we would have been lunch a long time ago.