Dear macosx.com Therapist,

[Trip]

You probably won't know this, because people are different, but still: if she talks to me about not being able to date people she hangs out with...

Today i had a conversation with her about the upcoming dance, i said i couldn't find anybody who wasn't taken yet and she said she wasn't. It went on from there. I think she wanted me to ask her...but i couldn't get up the nerve.

[edX]

trip - if a girl tells you she hasn't been asked to the dance after what you just said, she is practically asking you to ask her right then. pick up the phone and call her. ask her. if she says no, i'll make you a supermoderator for a week's trial basis.


do it before somebody else does!!!

[Trip]

What if i wait until Monday?
I can't call her this late...it'd just be awful. Plus i'd need to plan ahead (find a group to go with, see who's driving, who's paying, where to eat.) But i'm getting excited now.

[edX]

do it this weekend sometime. ask first, plan later. no since in making plans and having something go wrong like somebody else ask her while you're planning. girls like to get calls. face to face is fine, but girls like it when they know you made a special effort just to talk to them - about anything. that is if they like you and it sounds like she does. just don't start planning your life with her yet. one thing at a time.

[Sogni]

Yeah - what Ed said!
Seriously, forget about all the rest of the details - if worse comes to worse you can at least hang out with her, which to me was never a bad thing.

I'v ended up kicking myself for thinking too much about it (I do that A LOT!), What's the worst than can happen? If it does not work out - at least you tried and you won't kick yourself after!

Put it this way, I found the girl of my dreams - she litterally walked out of my dreams and into my life! We ended up dating...

But because of stupid me thinking too much, she left back home (foreigner) and married someone else!

I kicked myself for that one for a good long time... :/

[edX]

if worse comes to worse you can at least hang out with her, which to me was never a bad thing

boy, the more ithought about it the more i think sogni has some great advice there.

if, on the off hand half of a chance she says no, be sure to listen to how she says no. is it a "sorry, i've gotta wash my hair that nite" or "thanks, but i think i'll wait for a better offer" kind of no, OR is it a "hmm, i'm not sure i'd feel comfortable at the dance" or "that's not really my kind of thing" kind of no? if it's the first, then just forget ever being more than friends. be glad you found out and move on. if it's the latter, be prepared with other suggestions of something you could do as a "date". even if it's only talking on the phone that nite cause neither of you drive. sometimes a matter of getting a yes, is simply putting the question the right way. a girl who says "no, i don't want to go to the dance" could still say "yes, i'd like to do something else together."

[MacLuv]

OH FOR FSCK SAKE YOU PANSIES JUST ASK THE GIRL OUT

lol



:the smiley with the bonking head:

[edX]

hey Macluv - he's 15. give him a break. hell, he's braver than iwas at that age just by asking for advice about it. i was so scared to ask the girl i liked out when i was 17 that i dated her best friend for a month before i finally admitted who i really liked and she helped hook me up. the friend had kinda figured it out already when i was hesitant to kiss her good nite.