Opening up...

[Trip]

If something is infinate wouldn't it eventually overlap itself? And then continue to overlap itself? If time is infinate wouldn't it, too, overlap itself? And if it did what would that mean for us as a race? We are all unique, just like everybody else. But then again there are those who are not unique. How do they feel? Are they the "cool" or "popular" kids in society? They say that two opposites attract...so how exactly do you find the perfect soul mate? Find somebody who's exactly opposite of you and get them drunk? Why is it that when i'm depressed i feel awful, when i'm social/happy i feel great, and when i'm sad i feel peaceful inside? Why does it always feel so good to just let things out of your system and tell them to somebody. Even if that somebody doesn't give a hoot in a hollar about what you're saying? Should I love somebody even if they are not attracting. What is love? Is there a difference between love and feeling? What is it?! What is a good conversation starter? Is it possible to travel the stars in our mind. I read somewhere they call it star hopping. From a favorite song: why does the world want me to change if their the ones that remain the same? Why does everybody pick fights with America even though they know we could kick their little butts? Why do little dogs think they are tougher than bigger dogs? When will these bad feelings go away? When will be "my day" and why will it be "my day"? What if god comes tomorrow. What if god never comes. What is this empty feeling inside of me. Something needs to go there, and i know it does...but i don't know what it is that needs to go there. Could this have to do with my parents divorce at my age of 7? My friends find me to be a good filter, i'll listen to all their troubles/worries/problems in life. But i can't find anybody who will listen to my troubles/worries/problems. Why won't anybody listen to me?! It's driving me crazy, i think i might crash a car. While driving on the left side is it still necessary to look out your left hand mirror? Why won't these thoughts leave me alone! Why is it that when i come here to post some really great questions/concerns i've been having/feeling i can't think of anything to write? Why are you reading this? Do you really care at all what i say here? I hope you do, i need to find somebody who does...

[Trip]

...will somebody please tell me things are going to be allright? Things are going to work out in the end. Like a puzzle all pieces will fall together and like a map all roads lead to the same place. Will i ever hear the words: "you're going in the right direction son."? PLEASE, somebody call me and tell me i'm going in the right direction. I don't want to grow old and die. I want to experiance the experiance of growing old and dying without having to grow old and die. Why does the moon shine silver in Utah but orange in Ohio? Is there really a person out there who cares about me? Where are they and why havn't they called me yet? Who made up words and why do we recognize them? If we die some horrible mechanical death we can't blame anybody but ourselves. We've brought our doom to us. Anything everybody really wants out of life is to feel like they helped the next generation. To feel like they've made life easier for their children. How do they do this? By making more technically advanced (harder) toys. What ever happened to the good 'ol days where witches were burned for being too old or ugly. Wait...those were our ancestors. Stupid is as stupid does. Life IS like a box of chocolates. You know? You spend a lifetime looking for the best looking chocolate and it turns out to have almonds on the inside. Of all things! Almonds! The stuff you're alergic too. Will anybody ever find a solution for my heart problems? I want them to go away so i can be like all the other boys at school. I want to run. Why was i born funny looking and why didn't i grow out of the ugly stage in my life...

[Trip]

...why do i feel like this now? Why didn't i feel like this yesterday? I want to cry! I want somebody to listen to my tears hitting the floor and then ask me if everything is alright. Is everything alright? What if i never answered you? What if you never answered me? Would i feel mad or angry? I would feel sad and upset. I won't come around here anymore because you're father says i'm a alcoholic and your mother things im a homophobic. I remember playing in your sandbox. We used to play wars and i'd always win because i was older and taller. I remember playing in your life. We used to play friends and you'd always win and get the girl because you were younger and better looking. I hated you Colton. I hated you Jon. Why can't we have 2 chances at life...so we could go through life the first time and screw up, and then the second time screw up again just not like we had before. I'm still waiting for somebody to call me and tell me i'm going in the right direction. Nothing in the world is going to make me call you and say something along the lines of "Am i doing ok? Is there something i need to change here?". Looking out my window i realize i don't want to live this life. All these troubles, all these questions. What if my child is born retarded? What if i can't have children? What if i don't get married? What if nobody ever loves me? What if i never love anybody? What if i never had a friend? Do i have any friends? People tend to like to use me, and they get away with it to because i have a 110 "above average" IQ and i'm still in geometry. Sophtmore in high school and still taking a middle school class. Dang the system...

[Giaguara]

When most people find themselves good with a lot of things and noises, why do i like the empty and the silence? Why am i affascinated by empty spaces and rooms and silence?

Why after a day when everything went wrong and so deeply, it takes only a couple of smiles to make the world change its color?

Do the opposites attract if most people are affascinated by people that are of the ssame race and social background as they are, or look like their parents?

Do i care..? Some questions are better left unanswered ... maybe i do. My day was bad untill 10 minutes ago. Now i hope i can make your day smile at leasst for a while

[kermit64]

emo has been summarized!

don't worry man.

what you're looking for is hard to find. keep looking and take chances. the only way to change the way you feel is to make decisions. don't resign yourself to waiting for something/someone to find you. be confident that the decisions you make are your own.

[Giaguara]

What if this is not your first life? Where were we before we were born and where will be after we are dead? My first memory is probably from when i was a few days old...

Don't be scared about anything. You have a reason to live, and you will have to discover the reason why you exist yourself. Some of us come here only for a short time, but it doesn0t matter whether someone is here 3 days or 80 years, you will never loose the people that you cared for. To die .. is not like most people imagine, it feels like waking up of a life that was only a dream .... sorry for talking about too 'deep things' but as long as you are alive keep asking and never be afraid.

[Trip]

...it's over, it's done. My day is ending but my sorrow has just begun. I want to say hi to the people i don't know. But i can't get the courage to do it. Is this natural? Should i take advice from the therapist through emacs by using terminal? Sorting things out in life usually makes a mess, right? Why do we, as humans, do it so much then? Why can't we all be adults and tell the other countries to f*ck off! (?) If nobody is going to call me, then how will i ever know for sure if i'm going where i want to be going in life? Should i worry about school if all i'm going to be doing is running my own business? Do i really need college when i have all the knowledge i need to succseed in life? Do i have all the knowledge i need right now? What if i make one wrong turn in my life, like an ant on the trail heading back towards the hill. Will i get lost and suffer for eternity, or will i eventually be stepped on by somebody bigger, taller, and better looking than i? Why won't answers come to me? I don't want to look! No, wait...i do want too look. But i want to be asleep when i start and be eating breakfast when i'm done. Will somebody PLEASE just tell me i'm doing everything fine. Somebody tell me: "it's happened to all of us, and it's just a phase of life. You're going in the right direction son." I need some support, from somebody i can see. I can't trust you now, or never. You are not me and never will be. You're a friend or a foe, but you'll never be me. Will you listen to what i have to say? I've been following the shadows all my life, but i've been afraid of my own...

[Trip]

...btw, no i'm not stoned! I just have a boat load of things on my mind that i really need to get out. More to come...