Herve's Bar & Grill

**Arden** · April 5th, 2006, 03:05 PM

Heh, don't worry, your post counts are safe. I'm not back in full force, and I don't think I'll ever surpass Fryke's count (at least on this board).

As far as the "don't get too plastered" part... I already did that, 5 days or so BEFORE my birthday. We had a party at my apartment, and it didn't turn out so well...

Oh yeah, for the more curious among you: I now live with my girlfriend; we have 2 cats, a rat, and a mouse; I'm still going to Modesto JC for CIS; and I'm working at MCI's California Relay Service. Fun times.

**Perseus** · April 19th, 2006, 10:21 PM

I don't know if it is just me, but I hate it when people respond to me with "Um..." It is like they are trying to insult my intelligence or be condescending.

Anyone else feel the same way?

**Arden** · April 19th, 2006, 11:41 PM

Originally Posted by Perseus

I don't know if it is just me, but I hate it when people respond to me with "Um..." It is like they are trying to insult my intelligence or be condescending.

Anyone else feel the same way?

Umm... what are you talking about?

**Perseus** · April 20th, 2006, 12:11 AM

Do you feel better about yourself Arden that you responded with such an original response?

I was asking if anyone else had such an experience, I was not asking for wisecracks.

**Perseus** · April 20th, 2006, 12:18 AM

By the way, I just realized this is a good test of your character. A lot can be said from your response. I consider this case closed!

**Arden** · April 20th, 2006, 01:06 AM

Sorry, the little voice in my head was screaming at me to do it. I hope you aren't too offended by my little wisecrack.

Honestly, I don't find it too offensive when someone starts a reply with "Um..." I think it means more that they are not sure how to respond, or maybe they think that your argument isn't as valid as it could be. It depends on the context. For example, "Um, Macs don't run Windows" is condescending while "Um, doesn't the recent release of Boot Camp allow Macs to boot into Windows?" isn't (as much). It's the person's way of confirming that their opinion is still valid.

I don't know, I don't read too much into it. I think there are much more aggravating concerns in the world of Internet colloquy.

**bbloke** · April 20th, 2006, 06:36 AM

Originally Posted by Perseus

I don't know if it is just me, but I hate it when people respond to me with "Um..." It is like they are trying to insult my intelligence or be condescending.

Anyone else feel the same way?

The majority of the time, I don't find sentences beginning with "Um..." to be condescending or insulting. I think people can have a range of reasons for replying in that way. They could be unsure of what they are about to type; they could have believed something but someone else's post may have planted seeds of doubt in their mind. It's also possible that they are more sure of themselves, but don't know how to phrase their reply, perhaps precisely because they don't mean to cause offense. It could also be that they didn't feel they followed the post they are replying to, and are a bit confused and trying to clarify things. I'm sure we can come up with a variety of reasons why people phrase things the way they do.

Individuals will have their own catchphrases and ways of expressing themselves, especially as forums like these will include people from a range of countries and cultures, many of whom do not speak English as their first language (and even amongst the native English speakers there are huge differences when it comes to the ways things are expressed). I try to gauge things by the individual concerned and the specific circumstances (context). That said, the internet is great for misunderstandings, as we can't judge someone's attitude by body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice, all of which are incredibly important but which we take for granted in everyday life!

**CaptainQuark** · April 21st, 2006, 12:28 PM

Ummm… personally, I start a reply with "ummm…" if I'm intimating that I'm trying to think of a diplomatic way of disagreeing with a statement.

Unless you're dealing with a technical absolute, there is seldom such a thing as a "right" or "wrong" answer. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion on any matter – I should know: not having been brought up in any one country and therefore differing in opinion on many matters with most people, I find it useful to be diplomatic and try to open a dialogue on a subject, rather than just condemning as BS another person's opinion.

'Cos no-one thinks that CQ is an @$$hole…