iMessage, as far as I know, uses unique Apple ID's to send and receive messages. Every iMessage-capable device using the Apple ID will (and should) receive the message.
Why not just set everyone up with their own Apple ID? What you're asking to do (if I understand correctly) is akin to asking, "I want everyone to share one email address, but when I send email to that email address, I only want it to go to one person or another -- not everyone with access to that email address."
Probably impossible.
Doesn't Apple offer the ability to create free "sub-accounts" under Apple IDs that you could use to dole out unique Apple IDs to all family members?




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