I don't know this particular model of Nokia, but my N73 after connecting with USB asks me what I want to do - when I choose Media transfer, volume appears on my desktop.
I'm using iCal occasionally, but integration with cell-phone makes this app must-use for me. My iCal holds only most important and periodical events, but it still great ap for me...
BTW. MailTags was the reason for me to start using ToDo-things..
Do you have MailTags installed? If os, go and take a look in MT' options. There is "Open iCal when Mail launches".
BTW. use iCal - it's great app! ;-)
Rudhy