# OS X Swingers Club...



## MacLuv (Nov 25, 2002)




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## wdw_ (Nov 25, 2002)

Hey ladies. I turn 16 in 2 days, I live with my parents and I look like *THIS*(I now have longer hair).

Oh if you want to know what I'm like, I've won a city wide Simpsons trivia contest. Imagine somebody who would win a city wide simpsons trivia contest and you've probably got me on your mind.


*(This programme is brought to you by snacky smores, the creamy fun of smores in a delightful cookie crunch.
) *


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## Sogni (Nov 26, 2002)

You guys do realize only guys would be posting here as there doesn't seem to be that many women around, and those who are - what are the chances they are single? And from them, what are the chances of them even concidering dating some strange guy from a weird forum? 

Cody, why is it that I bust out laughing every time I see that picture? Must be a reaction to whatever you where laughing at. LOL 

Oh, and just in case! 
I'm 26 from Burbank California and I normally don't look this pissed off  unless provoked (in this case, a friend captured the only frame that i looked like that from a video we where messing with. 

Ok I need sleep... fregging insomnia!


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## edX (Nov 26, 2002)

> Cody, why is it that I bust out laughing every time I see that picture? Must be a reaction to whatever you where laughing at.



if Cody ever meets a girl using that pic i'll have to rethink all i think i know about females.  

on the other hand, together Tormente and Cody have a sort of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis kind of appeal. maybe there are a pair of opposite sisters out there just waiting to meet you. 

sorry ladies, i'm taken. but i look like this with a beard -


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## MacLuv (Nov 26, 2002)




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## Jason (Nov 28, 2002)

feh i dont need any more women in my life, too many of them...

anyone want any?


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## Shifting (Nov 28, 2002)

funny thread people.

girls do post here - i know cause i've meet a few, and i've been chatting with them for a few months now.

no need for my pic.  wouldn't want to make anyone look bad, after all.   i have enough opportunities & adventures due to my rockstar existance.

carry on.


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## Inline_guy (Nov 28, 2002)

Just got my heart broken after a three year relationship... blah, blah, blah.  But I will post my info, if for no other reason then to increase my number of posts!

I am a 22 year old male in Philly.  5'10 love to rollerblade, dance, and I drink every so often.  But I am not a mess when I am tips.

Also... Sorry to rock the boat, but girls really arent my thing.  I like to go out dancing with them, but that is where it ends.  

If anyone else belongs to the other 1% of the population and wants to chat then all is cool.  Am I expecting a response?  Not at all.  Just killing time until my roomie wakes up so we can go find something to do.

Matthew


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## btoneill (Nov 28, 2002)

Remember, this is the internet, just because it's a guy posting, doesn't mean he's looking for a girl to date


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## TommyWillB (Nov 28, 2002)

> _Originally posted by MacLuv _
> *Putting all the love back into MacLuv,  I thought we should have a dating service...* [/B]


 Oh...

For a second there I thought this would be some sort of party where we'd swapped Mac's.

I guess "swinging" does not have quite the same meaning as it once did...


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## Sogni (Nov 28, 2002)

> _Originally posted by TommyWillB _
> *Oh...
> 
> For a second there I thought this would be some sort of party where we'd swapped Mac's.
> ...



LOL
Yeah I was thinking of something a bit different with the title... Singles Club mighta been more like it?


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## TommyWillB (Nov 28, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Inline_guy _
> *...If anyone else belongs to the other 1% of the population ...*


1%... Wow! I thought there were a lot more of us than that!?!

Maybe that's the difference between Phili and SF?

Time to kick up the "recruiting drive" to increase "market share". I hear you can win a toaster.


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## MacLuv (Nov 28, 2002)




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## Inline_guy (Nov 28, 2002)

I think it is more than 1%.  I think it is 5%.  I am not into the whole movement, so I don't know the nubmers.  Just know what I like... ;-)

Matthew

Inline_guy


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## mystique (Nov 28, 2002)

*looks at all of you*

*looks at Ed*

This _IS_ some sort of a joke, right?

I'd slit my wrists with a dull cheese slicer right now than get involved in another relationship right now.

Again, you left something off you poll choices: it can be purchased at "Sex Toys R Us", arrives in a plain brown wrapper and has a small chance of breaking your heart (and if it DOES you have more serious problems then even *I* do atm.)

Me, bitter? 

Two, please.

(I also note that while my response was typically smarta$$ed, I WAS the only female to comment. Any other woman around here?)


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## Sogni (Nov 29, 2002)

I know what you mean  mystique,
Let's just say I've been on Dating Hiatus for about a year now... 

Well, does going out with my best friend (of opposite sex) count?


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## xaqintosh (Nov 29, 2002)

how many ladies are there though? not many...

(doesn't matter for me, only 13 )


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## mystique (Nov 29, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Tormente _
> *I know what you mean  mystique,
> Let's just say I've been on Dating Hiatus for about a year now...
> 
> Well, does going out with my best friend (of opposite sex) count?  *



I'd say it counts as a DATE, just not as romance which in MNSHO is the best kind.

I'd take my daughters hamster to the theatre and it could be a DATE but we won't be exchanging any tongue.


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## mystique (Nov 29, 2002)

> _Originally posted by xaqintosh _
> *how many ladies are there though? not many...
> 
> (doesn't matter for me, only 13 ) *



I'm female, but the "lady" part the jury is still out on.

I have no idea. I had a lady by the name of Chris here help me with some Classic problems...wait...I know a LOT of male Chris's I don't know why I assumed it was a she.

I better shut up and let someone which some lifetime experience here answer your quesion.


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## MacLuv (Nov 29, 2002)




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## mystique (Nov 29, 2002)

Where have you been, MacLuv...I needed you to tend bar while I took a shower.
Tend HERVE'S that, is...too many bar of soap jokes left wide open there.


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## xaqintosh (Nov 29, 2002)




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## mystique (Nov 29, 2002)

Hon...you are 13..stick to your comic books and, music and Macs for a few more years. You have plenty of years for women to drive you batsh*t, trust me.


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## TommyWillB (Nov 29, 2002)

> _Originally posted by xaqintosh _
> *I actually have a "girlfriend" of sorts that I really like, but I don't like using that word being still in middle school  *


Funny!

...my "partner" recently asked me to stop referring to him as my "boyfriend" because he thought that made us sound too much like kids...

"Partner" sounds too much like a business relationship (which being co-owners of a bunch of stuff is problably accurate), but I can't think of naything better.


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## xaqintosh (Nov 29, 2002)




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## xaqintosh (Nov 29, 2002)




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## edX (Nov 29, 2002)

tommy - lol 

my 'spousal equivilant' doesn't like when i call her my girlfriend for the same reason. but when i tell someone i have a partner, they tend to assume i'm gay and i have to explain that she is a she which is sometimes more trouble than it's worth cause then you have to explain why you don't say girlfriend. 

so i tend to stick with 'significant other' or 'spousal equivilent' except on the web where i use GF out of my own laziness.


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## MacLuv (Nov 29, 2002)




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## Da_iMac_Daddy (Nov 29, 2002)

Doesn't swinging mean you swap partners? Or maybe I think it might mean you go both ways AC/DC if you know what I mean. I may just be ill informed.

Carry on.


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## mystique (Nov 29, 2002)

Ummm, now that you mention it, I had "swingers" mixed up with "swappers" which brings all us GEEKS back t swap meets and thus the conversation takes another geeky turn down hill.

I don't think this thread has a chance in this crowd Macluvy.


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## Da_iMac_Daddy (Nov 29, 2002)

Swap meet? [confused]Da_iMac_Daddy[/confused]


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## Inline_guy (Nov 30, 2002)

Mystique I agree.  I think for all its great intentions a forum (a computer forum at that) just is not the place to go looking for love!  

It was a noble effort, and MacLuv don't give up the good fight.  Keep spreading the Luv.. ;-)

Matthew


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## MacLuv (Nov 30, 2002)




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## edX (Nov 30, 2002)

a. In a smokey bar full of drunks

actually i don't recommend this but it is where i eventually found  it. 

of course i found a lot of other less satisfying relationships in the same environment before that too. probably would have been sooner had i been looking at the grocery store.


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## Inline_guy (Nov 30, 2002)

I like clubs, and I like drunks.  But that is not everyone's thing.  In the bible many women where picked up at the Water Hole.  Why, because it is where a good women who is working hard for her family would be found.  

Just smart logic.  If you are looking for women that is of great quality and that is like minded with you, then find your "personal" water hole.

If this is it, then keep going, however, there just is not an abundance of women here like there would be at say.... a coffee house with wiFi. (just grabbing at straws)  Maybe you will find cool chicks there.  Books stores are nice.  Church's are great if you are not just using as a dating service.  Athletic events are great!  Here in Philly people go jogging, biking, rollerblading on Sunday's up and down a trail.  Great place to meet people!

Matthew

P.S.  If this is your water hole don't let my pessimism stop you from going for it.  I am after all a scorned person right now! :-D


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## TommyWillB (Nov 30, 2002)

> _Originally posted by MacLuv _
> *So where should one look for love?...*


 I was doing some volunteer work for a cause I beleived in (the Names project)... So was he... 

No drunks...
No "rollers"... (actually I'm not quite sure what that means?!) 
No carts/butchers/vegitables....
No bowling balls...
No wedding cake... 
No newsprint...
No tennis balls...


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## MacLuv (Nov 30, 2002)




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## Trip (Nov 30, 2002)

ROFL!
Just for that I claim you "master of the house" for macosx.com MacLuv! Oh and: show me the girls!


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## Da_iMac_Daddy (Nov 30, 2002)

Rollers == People high on ecstasy

Very prominant at dance clubs and raves....


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## jbartlett (Dec 4, 2002)

Okay, wait a second here. I might be tempted to look at a guy in a "watering hole", but he's not the guy I'm gonna take home. Sitting in a dark, smokey bar makes most guys look pretty good, but then you get them home and in the light and yikes! Give me the wholesome, grocery store type guy any day. Or at least someplace where I have a clue who/what he is besides drunk. I think TWB was on the right track.

J


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## Sogni (Dec 4, 2002)

> _Originally posted by jbartlett _
> *Okay, wait a second here. I might be tempted to look at a guy in a "watering hole", but he's not the guy I'm gonna take home. Sitting in a dark, smokey bar makes most guys look pretty good, but then you get them home and in the light and yikes! Give me the wholesome, grocery store type guy any day. Or at least someplace where I have a clue who/what he is besides drunk. I think TWB was on the right track.
> 
> J *



Altho I'm really not concerened with looks, what you said goes pretty much goes for me with girls... altho as close I've gone to a "watering hole" is a Billards room (with a "watering hole" heh), I'm really not intersted in drunks... 

Now, Disneyland! There's a place!  
LOL Just kidding!


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## cabbage (Dec 4, 2002)

>>I guess "swinging" does not have quite the same meaning as it once did...

Swinging is couples looking for other couples or other partners...not single on single...that's called dating.


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## Jason (Dec 4, 2002)

oh i thought swingers were the ones who danced swing


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## Austin Powers (Dec 10, 2002)

Hey! Now this place is my bag, man! I can't wait to get things groovin'!

But first--I have to go to the naughty chair and see a man about a dog.


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## orangefunk (Dec 16, 2002)

Let's rename this thread as the "The Bob Crane OS X Club"


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## TommyWillB (Dec 16, 2002)

I second that as long as we can brew coffee in the coffee maker in addition to using it as a bugging device...


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## AdmiralAK (Dec 17, 2002)

swiii---ng---er---s ?  

hmmm I thought swing went out a long time ago  lol


Admiral


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## Austin Powers (Dec 17, 2002)

Not if I can help it baby, yeah!


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## Trip (Dec 17, 2002)

So for the female posters out there, or the more advanced (experianced) gentlemen: do girls *really* care if guys hold doors open, always smile and say hi, or even remember names? Is it doing me any good to do these things? They've all become habits now, but i want to know if it will get me anywhere.


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## edX (Dec 17, 2002)

Trip - for purely physical attractions these things are worthless. for a real relationship, they're invaluable!!! don't leave home without them


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## Sogni (Dec 17, 2002)

Trip, as Ed says - just don't get TOO carried away... 
I never thought I'd ever hear a girl say I was "too much"... not like I was "trying hard" or anything - it's just normal to me, I do it without thinking... geez! Oh well.


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## chemistry_geek (Dec 18, 2002)

Swinger's Club?  Hmm....  I know from experience that geek chics are difficult to find, well, even regular chics.  And here's why...

Hi ladies,

I'm internet dating service member XP05QK2.  I'm 34 years old, single (never married), no children, just getting out of graduate school with a masters in chemistry, lives at home with mom and dad, have student loans up the wazoo, NO HOUSE, own mutual funds that headed WAY south with the economic downturn, just started a job working through a recruiting agency making <$30K/year with 1.5 hours ONE WAY traveling time, drives an 11 year old Saturn with 200,000 miles, a cracked windshield, a dented front fender, needs engine rebuilt, tires, shocks, clutch, AC recharge, oh, and almost forgot the $4K in credit cards I owe.

Will you date me?  Serious inquiries only please.  Don't forget to include a picture with your response.

_WINNER!_ DING! DING! DING!

Two words from MAD TV come to mind:

Lowered Expectations


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## Sogni (Dec 18, 2002)

> _Originally posted by chemistry_geek _
> *
> Hi ladies,
> 
> ...



"OH GOD! IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!" -Homer 

Man... that's so me... well give 'n take a few points (less age, now unemployed/laid off, older car with lesser miles... damn... ok now I understand!    :enlightened: DOH!!!


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## edX (Dec 18, 2002)

geez guys, don't assume all women are so shallow and that you are nothing more than a measurable commodity. the things you have listed are all situational, are subject to change and reflect none of the muman qualities that would make you attractive to a woman. don't be so quick to think that you have nothing to offer. despite recent rating polls, life is not "The Bachelor" and women do not do background checks before accepting a date. and i've got more women into the backseat of a car worse than either of you describe than you would likely believe. 

but you might have something with the lowered expectations thing - like maybe you should set your own expectations somewhere below a playboy model or a successful ceo. some females have the same problems you do and they are still worthwhile, attractive human beings in the process. don't expect perfection if you can't reciprocate, but also don't ewxclude yourself from life because you don't see yourself as perfect. 

ed's dating advice for the day


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## Sogni (Dec 18, 2002)

LOL
Ed, I'm mostly really just kidding. 
I'm just exagurating what the last one did to me... oy vey!  

Lower Expectatin? Me? Nah... I refuse to date "Playboy models" or even "wanna-be models"... they're simply BORING! 

But... I do have High Expectations of the OTHER kind... to find a Geekett (Non-MS-Brown-Noser)/Gamerett would just drive me insane!  
Especially with long straight hair and glasses... woah! heh


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## Esteroali (Dec 18, 2002)

OK, I am a married middle aged MOM...but you fellas need to lighten up . Brains are a huge aphrodisiac to many women...you might not meet them in bars and they may not all be playboy bunny clones. Plus geeks usually wind up being sucessful in life...they just need more time to be appreciated.


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## Trip (Dec 18, 2002)

Hey, if i find a girl who even seems interested in me i'll die a happy man.


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## Sogni (Dec 18, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Trip _
> *Hey, if i find a girl who even seems interested in me i'll die a happy man. *



That's what I used to think too... 
Then a foregnier came along and was only interested in/playing me for a greencard - or whatever they're called now-a-days (I later found out).

Not to mention the poor girl that thought I had money - and that she thought I meant "Late Model Mustang" when she heared I drove a Mustang (old, beatup, falling appart, with different color coverup paint/primer! lol).
I STILL feel sorry for her! NOT! LOL 

Ok, enough bagging on them - that's really not my style.


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## TommyWillB (Dec 20, 2002)

> _Originally posted by chemistry_geek _
> *I'm internet dating service member XP05QK2.  I'm 34 years old, single (never married), no children, just getting out of graduate school with a masters in chemistry, lives at home with mom and dad, have student loans up the wazoo, NO HOUSE, own mutual funds that headed WAY south with the economic downturn, just started a job working through a recruiting agency making <$30K/year with 1.5 hours ONE WAY traveling time, drives an 11 year old Saturn with 200,000 miles, a cracked windshield, a dented front fender, needs engine rebuilt, tires, shocks, clutch, AC recharge, oh, and almost forgot the $4K in credit cards I owe.
> 
> Will you date me?*


That was me 7 years ago (although with less education [BA in broadcasting], and thus smaller bills)

But between then and now 2 things have happened that may make you feel better:

1) Much better financial outlook:

a) I got a great job that has sustained me through both boom and bust
b) ...upgraded my 10 year old / 205,000 mile car for a 3 year old 75,000 car
c) ...combined with my partner, we bought a house (that has since doubled in value)
d) ...upgraded again to a brand new 0 mile car
e ...have an admirable 401K that is invested 75% in bonds (...and people said I was crazy!)

2) I found the love of my life...
... before ANY of the other things happened... 

I guess this is my way of saying... "Yes, good things can happen even when it seems your prospects seem bad."


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## chemistry_geek (Dec 21, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Ed Spruiell _
> *geez guys, don't assume all women are so shallow and that you are nothing more than a measurable commodity. the things you have listed are all situational, are subject to change and reflect none of the muman qualities that would make you attractive to a woman. don't be so quick to think that you have nothing to offer. despite recent rating polls, life is not "The Bachelor" and women do not do background checks before accepting a date. and i've got more women into the backseat of a car worse than either of you describe than you would likely believe.
> 
> but you might have something with the lowered expectations thing - like maybe you should set your own expectations somewhere below a playboy model or a successful ceo. some females have the same problems you do and they are still worthwhile, attractive human beings in the process. don't expect perfection if you can't reciprocate, but also don't ewxclude yourself from life because you don't see yourself as perfect.
> ...



Ed,

I agree whole heartedly with your comments, but there is A LOT of pressure on guys in today's society "to be successful" in the financial/career sense.  Let's face it, these drives are biological in origin.  Women try to find the best "provider" for a family and men seek "beautiful" women for their good genetics.  These drives provide a win-win situation for the offspring as they inherit the genes of a good provider and someone who looks healthy and physically fit.  Some of these pressures are the result of the media and entertainment industry casting these stereotypes into our consciousness.  Some of it due to social change of women working in the work force (FYI: I have no opposition to this; one must do what must be done to make ends meet).  It's taking much longer than in previous years for people to "get established in life" to where they feel comfortable starting families.  College is getting more expensive nowadays than in previous years and it's taking longer to get decent stable careers to support a family.  I know from my own experience teaching college courses that some female students go to college for the sole purpose of getting their "Mrs." degree.  There's nothing wrong with that; it's a good strategy for finding Mr. Right.

Basically, in my first post to this thread I was just ridiculing my situation.  Looking only at my situation, I'm not a good catch, looking at the geek factor as Esteroali mentions, I might be a good catch, depends on the girl and what she wants out of life.  And we all know that women have the final say so in choosing a mate.

I've met a few women (one of whom you know about) with professional degrees (i.e. masters degree, law, etc...) who are looking for a Mr. Right who has an income greater than theirs so that they can quite their professional jobs, marry Mr. Right, and stay at home and raise the kids.  That kind of lifestyle is a dream for many.  The American economy isn't set up like that anymore unless the husband has a 6-figure income.


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## MacLuv (Dec 30, 2002)

Women are funny things. They have this amazing ability to bare children. I think it has something to do with the womb. Whatever you do, if you're a man, don't believe that women want to be rich. They just want unlimited access to shopping malls and credit cards. You don't have to be rich to provide a woman with this luxury. 

If a woman is unmarried and over forty and hasn't had a kid yet, you'd better watch out. I'd stay away from these babes if you're a young stud. If you're desperate for some funky sex followed by conversations about how life doesn't turn out how you expect it to, then go for this option.

If you meet a girl that tells you she's more into her career, she's just using that as an excuse to tell you she doesn't want to date you seriously enough to consider having your children. Most women (99.9%), when they fall in love, want to have children. Any woman that tells you differently is either a tranny or isn't in love. This isn't psychological, it's biological. Just as a normal, healthy male wakes up with a woody every morning, a normal, healthy woman drops one egg per month--and she ain't makin' no omelettes. Women find men to mate with. Women may seem like they want to have sex or get to know you, but deep down inside, really far in that "secret" place, they're really thinking "What would my kid look like with his nose on my face?"

Men, don't sell yourselves short. Women look for one thing in a man--and that's your ability to be as stupid and helpless as possible on the inside, while looking as presentable as possible at social functions. That's about it. Don't believe the "sensitive man" crap. A woman that dates a woman is a lesbian. A woman that dates an emotional man is a lesbian-to-be. Domination. That's the ticket.

An inexperienced woman will play with your feelings until there's nothing left but goo. This is considered "practice". If you sense your woman getting a bit too fussy, kick her to the curb. You want a woman who's been around. One who knows the manipulation game. One who understands the "put out" formula, which may be based on Einstein's theory of relativity.  How much shopping the woman is allowed is directly related to how much she puts out. Don't let women fool you into thinking this is not so. There is no woman on earth that does not like to shop, and learning how to trade shopping for sex is part of the training. (It all starts with the rose you leave on her pillow. One day, that rose turns into a ten-thousand dollar diamond ring if you're not careful.)

When it comes to "bargaining", don't let chicks string you along. Get straight to the point, and do it with the lights on whenever possible. And don't forget to mention that some of that shopping is for your benefit as well. That's why God invented Victoria's Secret.

This whole "woman's lib" thing is overrated. I'm telling you the truth, women want an agressive man that they can buy shirts for. By "agressive" I mean someone who can get dinner reservations on the spot. Remember to always be a man, because after a few years of a relationship, the woman will always see her man as a *giant baby*. This can work to your advantage, until she actually has a *real baby*. Then all that lovey duvey crap is thrown out the window and put to good use on Junior. So don't get used to it.

The marriage thing. Don't be fooled. Chicks *love* marriage. Even if they say they're not into it. If they say they're not into it, they're not into it with _you_. Kick those ones to the curb. Plenty of fish in the sea. Especially at the library or produce section in the supermarket. But back to marriage. Chicks dig it. Be careful of the one's that can't stop talking about it though, especially on the third or forth date. Kick those to the curb. You want the chick that plays it cool. Doesn't really think about it. Then you hit her with the question. BAM! Bring a baseball bat in case you can't afford a ring. Hopefully for you, she'll say "No fuckin' way dude, I just want to have sex for the next five years." Trust me, this is the best solution in some cases. Often when a man is getting too much sex his mind will do funny things, like say "I love you will you marry me Tina" during an orgasm. Of course, the girl's name is Wendy. But she won't care. The morning after check your wallet to see if your credit cards are missing. 

Happy Holidays



©JC Smythe, posted here with my permission.


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## Austin Powers (Jan 4, 2003)

Yeah, I can't believe Liberace was gay. Women loved him, man. I didn't see that one coming.


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