# Funny, but scary, website.



## divibisan (Apr 22, 2002)

This site is a real fundamentalist christian web site (as opposed to landoverbaptist which is a parody) and keep in mind that people actually believe these things.

I'm not talking about God and things like that, but fundamentalist things like the fact that Apple Computer is a tool of the Devil,


> Hypnotically encased iMacs trick unsuspecting computer users into accepting Darwinism



and the "Mall Missionaries" Don't forget to check out the Kids area (Really scary)

Here's the link


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## dlookus (Apr 22, 2002)

Please pay attention to the other threads.


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## nkuvu (Apr 22, 2002)




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## wdw_ (Apr 22, 2002)

This is funny and insulting at the same time!   

This is the most politically incorrect piece of crap I've ever seen!


Hey AdmiralAK, look what they had on their site!


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## wdw_ (Apr 22, 2002)

Hey everybody! let's flood this guy with emails. 

His email is drdinosaur@covenant.org.


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## scruffy (Apr 22, 2002)

I'm pretty sure it's not for real - it's just a more subtle parody than e.g. Landover Baptist.

Oh, here's some more funny reading - Americans for Purity


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## wdw_ (Apr 22, 2002)

it's real.


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## nkuvu (Apr 22, 2002)

Whoa, warn someone when you post links like that, Scruffy.  I clicked on it while I'm here at work (waiting for tests to finish).  Big red letters.   'sokay, I don't think anyone was looking...


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## BlingBling 3k12 (Apr 22, 2002)

> _Originally posted by scruffy _
> *Oh, here's some more funny reading - Americans for Purity *



their link to the White House website goes to whitehouse.org, not whitehouse.gov like the real website...

and there are weird political parties....... there is a Marijuana party in California for the legalization of marijuana (my teacher said that today)


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## AdmiralAK (Apr 23, 2002)

lol...I am in the process of reading that site as I type (aahhh multitasking just like my mac  )

Those heathans badmouthing my beloved daemon!
I will throw em all to windows helll bwa hahahahahahahah


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## Nummi_G4 (Apr 23, 2002)

"Hypnotically encased iMacs trick unsuspecting computer users into accepting Darwinism" Because the os is called darwin. give me a break you stupid ass!

Open source is communism? would open source be the opposite of communism?

"think different than whom or what?" The disturbing answer is that they want us to think different than our Christian upbringing, to reject all the values that we have been taught and to heed not the message of the Lord Jesus Christ!"

   OMG!  DUMB ASS.

 Apple a cult?  isnt that what religion is?  A huge cult?  This man is going to hell, because Steve Jobs is God


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## Lessthanmighty (Apr 24, 2002)

You have to admit though... these people have wasted their time to find these stupid conections.  They themselves "think different"  and even though they should be shot... because they obviously have no idea what they are talking about... I think we should give them some credit.  They made me laugh!

WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING? KILL'EM!  KILL'EM ALL!  MMUUUHHHAAAAHAHAHA!


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## divibisan (Apr 24, 2002)

Sorry about posting this again

Here's their justification for wanting to censor the internet:



> The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.


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## divibisan (Apr 24, 2002)

They seem to think that people are really stupid



> Landover Baptist claims to be a church. Moreover, they claim to be the only church in America that understands the Bible! In fact, neither is true. Landover Baptist is a fraud. A joke. Their true purpose is not to spread the Gospel of our Lord, but to trick people - especially those who have not received the Word and Salvation or have been programmed by secular culture to distrust Christianity - into believing that Christianity is evil and rejecting it.



Landover Baptist is a very obvious parody site, what serious site would have a picture of Jesus as a terrorist and have quizes which tell that the Christian god is more cruel than the Allah

More Quotes:


> "BOO! I'm John the Baptist, and these are my many exciting exploits..."





> J.C. Penny - The J.C. makes us think of Jesus Christ, thus associating our Lord with the lowest monetary value, the penny (even Judas valued Him at 30 pieces of silver!)
> Cinnabon - Sounds like "Sin Upon".






> Emphasize "coolness" of Jesus and offer "Radical Salvation". Secularized teens usually can't read too well, so hand out colorful stickers instead of pamphlets.





> "Jesus will save you more than 50%... He'll save you 100%!"
> "Salvation is one size fits all!"
> "Why go to a Gap when you can come to Agape?"


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## divibisan (Apr 24, 2002)

Here's a site with the e-mail adresses for everyone there.

They all look like they haven't changed their hair style since the 80s, and they have a strange resume:

They have an accountant who will give 10% off for anyone who converts to Christianity on the spot

An exorcist who had battled Satan many times, and won

A Game Theoretician who solved the Fisherman's Quandary (a puzzle which allowed us to win the arm's race )

And the Abstinence Czar


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## TommyWillB (Apr 24, 2002)

> _Originally posted by nkuvu _
> *Whoa, warn someone when you post links like that, Scruffy.  I clicked on it while I'm here at work (waiting for tests to finish).  Big red letters.   'sokay, I don't think anyone was looking...   *


There are resons that you should not do things like reading chat boards at work... This is not really scruffy's problem.


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## nkuvu (Apr 24, 2002)

Heh, you have a point there, Tom.

Of course when I am waiting for tests at work my computer is pretty much locked up -- surfing doesn't take a lot of resources, so I can still do that...

I'd still prefer a note before posting links to "pages that you shouldn't visit while at work".


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## scruffy (Apr 24, 2002)

> _Originally posted by divibisan _
> *Here's a site with the e-mail adresses for everyone there.
> 
> They all look like they haven't changed their hair style since the 80s, and they have a strange resume:
> ...



This is satire.  Nobody can win the arms race.  Abstinence Czar is a play on Drug Czar.  The pictures are obviously badly retouched in Photoshop (or equivalent).  Their HTML source contains
<META name="generator" content="Our Lord Jesus Christ, Who hath generated all">
Their banner ads are hosted by zapatopi.net (look at the zapatopi.net site, it's screamingly funny).  They sell Bazooka Jesus T-Shirts at cafepress.com

If all that isn't conclusive enough for you, you want actual hard proof, try this - Paley claims to teach Divinity and Theobiology at Fellowship University.  Neither Theobiology, nor Fellowship University, exists.


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## macguy17 (Apr 25, 2002)

Straight from crazyapplerumors.com:
Jobs, Satan, Vehemently Deny Any Connection. 

Responding to accusations by Dr. Richard Paley of a strong link between Apple and the forces of darkness, both Apple CEO Steve Jobs and Satan, often referred to as the Prince of Darkness, steadfastly denied the charge.

"There is no relationship," Jobs said this morning. "Contrary to what Dr. Paley claims, Apple does not 'support' Godlessness or Communism. As an equal opportunity employer, we support the freedom of religion that is protected in the U.S. Constitution, and we support the democratic process that makes this nation great."

Jobs did allow that one charge of Paley's may be construed as being true. "As for 'supporting' Darwinism, well, I guess we 'support' Darwinism. We also 'support' gravity, a Sun-centered solar system and the laws of thermodynamics."

For his part, Satan confirmed Jobs' claim that there is no relationship.

"Apple Computer?" the Prince of Darkness asked. "Hmm, no. Doesn't ring a bell. I do frequently make deals with individuals, but not with entire organizations. Maybe someone's not really clear on how this whole damnation thing works."

"I did once sponsor a little league team, but they all ended up becoming Presbyterians so I'm not doing that again."

Satan went on to explain that, even if he were in the habit of contracting with organizations, he would have very little interest in a relationship with Apple. "When your primary job is damning souls to eternal toil, you don't generally have much need for labor-saving devices like computers, you know what I mean?"

Asked if he vehemently denied Dr. Paley's charge, Satan said "Hey, I do everything vehemently, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Now, get of my office before I turn you inside out."
posted by CARS Staff | 4/22/2002


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## xoot (Apr 26, 2002)

"A Satanic, unevolvable chimera compells you to submit to Darwinism!"

Huh? That is weird!

What, are those rebelling mac users? They use windows (I noticed the MSCSS).


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