# anti-M$ catch phrases



## unlearnthetruth (Feb 14, 2002)

I've decided I want to make a collection of clever anti M$ and windoze catch phrases...  so far I have:

*"The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck is the day they start making vaccuum cleaners"

"Mac OS for Creativity, UNIX for Power, Linux for Stability, Windows for Solitaire"

"Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows"*

All of those I've seen around here, and I don't remember who said them, so if they're yours feel free to claim them... yay!


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## kenny (Feb 14, 2002)

Maybe not a catch-phrase per se, but one of my favourite anti-Microsoft quotes is from the Woz himself:



> I think that the anti-Microsoft sentiment is simply due to their having been so successful selling a lot of crap. They have done some good things though, even for the Macintosh. But they are a company that has been as bad a guy as any monopoly could be, not a good guy. I don't trust them with the future in their current form.



I actually printed this out in a nice large typeface and put it on the wall of my cube at work. It does generate a fair number of comments, as you might guess. 

The source of the quote is on this page a little more than halfway down the page. Do a CMD-F to search for 'crap' and you'll pop right to it. But you really should take some time to read what Woz has to say if you've not done so before. He's a really bright guy; one of the few people in this world that I admire..


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## Lessthanmighty (Feb 15, 2002)

I actually have a T-shirt that says: "Mac OS for Creativity, UNIX for Power, Linux for Stability, Windows for Solitaire"  Its very cool.


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## unlearnthetruth (Feb 15, 2002)

*gasps with envy*

where'd you get it??


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## Nummi_G4 (Feb 15, 2002)

Try this site:

macsurfshop.com


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## Lessthanmighty (Feb 15, 2002)

He would be correct... in that regard.


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## Nummi_G4 (Feb 15, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Lessthanmighty _
> *He would be correct... in that regard. *




sigh??? what is the problem ?  ITS FRIDAY !  Everyone drive to redmond so we can all take turn pissing on the microsoft HQ's sign.


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## symphonix (Feb 16, 2002)

Sort of off-tangent, but I've seen:

"Intel Inside - Idiot Outside"
(a bit unfair, since Intel make some good processors. I'd far rather pick on windows)

But remember, if you can't back up your rhetoric with some actual information and knowledge, you're going to look like a right prat when someone asks you what your M$-sucks posters mean. Make sure you know what you're talking about.

Yesterday someone asked me why an "expert" like me (ha ha) would use a mac. I said they were superior to windows in every way.
He scoffed, went on to say he was an expert in these things and had built his own PC, then asked why I wasn't using windows.
"Windows is strung together from an assortment of haphazardly documented, uncompatible technologies, redundant formats and legacy devices, which is why it crashes. The mac is stable, reliable and runs every app you could ever want, and it runs UNIX."
"What's Unix?"
"Its a networkable operating system that's been around for three decades. Have you heard of Linux?"
"Oh, yeah, that's the one thats useless, right?"

 

You just have to remember that M$ has put its propaganda everywhere, and most PC users have no idea that alternatives even exist, let alone that there are OS's out there that work reliably and do more than Windows. In fact, if I had listened to computer teachers at school and experts in the shops I'd be unaware of the existence of linux/unix, its only in the professional world that they're making inroads. Most people don't talk to "real" technicians when they go to buy a computer, they talk to the guy in the shop.

In short, make sure you can back up what you say, and understand that most people believe windows is the one and only option (and that crashes are a fact of life).


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## Alexandert (Feb 16, 2002)

> _Originally posted by Nummi_G4 _
> *
> 
> 
> sigh??? what is the problem ?  ITS FRIDAY !  Everyone drive to redmond so we can all take turn pissing on the microsoft HQ's sign. *



I think this is the first and only sentence of Nummi I would like to agree! May I join you Nummi???


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## unlearnthetruth (Feb 16, 2002)

hehe thanks for the advice. I have a lot of ammo though, don't worry  Unfortunatly I get to use it quite often. Here at Villanova, a school that "strongly suggests" purchasing a new computer if you own a mac, I get into a lot of arguments with people who just pass by my room, see my G4, and decide they want to open their ill-informed big mouths. In addition to a crowd of rich, closed-minded, spoiled white kids, villanova is raising mac-haters!

Yeah I complain a lot, but I'm 2 lazy to transfer


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## edX (Feb 16, 2002)

ok, here is a paraphrase of gumse's sig - it makes sense the way he has it there but needs this change to be a slogan:

I only use Windows when I'm getting paid by the hour.


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## BlingBling 3k12 (Feb 16, 2002)

Ever been tortured for 10 years? No? Go use Windows...


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## martinatkinson (Feb 16, 2002)

> _Originally posted by unlearnthetruth _
> *"Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows"*



LOL!  I love that!

I do not know if this has been posted before but I just noticed that Apple put an anti window phrase in OS X  ( maybe I should have posted this in response to that "I think MS hacked Darwin" thread ) anyway, if you close all windows in the Finder and control-click on the finder icon in the dock it will come up with a menu that says "No Windows"  

Have a great day!

Albert


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## BlingBling 3k12 (Feb 16, 2002)

so simX's avatar is true!

cool!


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## simX (Feb 16, 2002)

Just so you guys know, that first M$ catch phrase in the first post is mine (see my sig).    And I know someone else had the air conditioner one for their sig.. I mentioned that too -- I love that. 

I'd like to amend the third one, though:

"Mac OS for creativity.  UNIX for power.  Linux for stability.  Windows for Solitaire.  Oh, wait, and then there's Mac OS X for, well, everything!"  

Also, martinatkinson... Apple did nothing of the sort.  The "No Windows" comment refers to the fact that there are no Finder windows open, so it's a perfectly valid thing to put in the operating system.  It CAN be interpreted differently, though..


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## Alexandert (Feb 17, 2002)

Mine says "Keine Fenster"!


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## martinatkinson (Feb 17, 2002)

> _Originally posted by simX _
> *Also, martinatkinson... Apple did nothing of the sort.  The "No Windows" comment refers to the fact that there are no Finder windows open, so it's a perfectly valid thing to put in the operating system.  It CAN be interpreted differently, though..  *



Yeah, I know, I just thought it was pretty funny.  I know Apple would never do anything like  that.

Have a great day!

Albert


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## Alexandert (Feb 17, 2002)

Now I have a funny story to tell...

Does anyone of you remember the "ILOVEYOU" Virus that affected pictures in different formats??? It was a Virus written in VisualBasic, so it couldn't affect a mac. 
Ok... Now we have a company named "Axel Springer Verlag". Its one of the biggest company in germany and sells books, Newspapers and stuff like that. I dont know the exact name for something like that in english. 
Although this is such a big company they had about 10000 PeeCs and about 1000 Macs. Now one of the PeeCs was affected by the "ILOVEYOU" Virus and it went over to every other F..... PC! Even the main Server lost all pictures. The macs got the virus too. But it couldnt do anything and they were able to backup all the pics from a mac! 
Now what the Apple part of the company did (the funny thing) was they put an ad into the Newspaper (1 full page) Wich says:

Liebe Windows-User:
"We love you"

That means something like...

Dear Windows-Users:
"We love you"

From that day on the Axel Springer Verlag uses 95% Macs and the rest Linux!

LOL! Apple didnt like the ad. But I thought it was funny!


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## kenny (Feb 17, 2002)

I remember that... I think Apple's problem with it was that Axel Springer Verlag published the ad with Apple's logo, and used the same typeface that Apple uses, etc... The ad was laid out in such a way that if you didn't know better, you'd have thought it _was_ an Apple ad. The lawyers @ Apple couldn't say they thought it was funny, but I have to believe that they did.


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## Matrix Agent (Feb 17, 2002)

I found Nummi.


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## BlingBling 3k12 (Feb 17, 2002)

LOL!!!!!!!!!


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## Alexandert (Feb 17, 2002)

What are ou loling about???  
Kenny, you are right! They used an Apple Aqua Logo and they wrote "Think different". I almost peeed my pants!


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## scope (Feb 17, 2002)

My favorite oxymoron: *"Microsoft Works."*


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## bighairydog (Feb 17, 2002)

Questions and Answer Jokes:
Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The current implementation of the lightbulb can not be uninstalled. We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

Q: How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to ask "What is the registration number of the light bulb?", one to ask "Have you tried rebooting it?", another to ask "Have you tried reinstalling it?" and the last one to say "It must be your hardware because the light bulb in our office works fine..."

Q: How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. Two to hold the ladder and one to hammer the bulb into a faucet.

Q: How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight. One to work the bulb and seven to make sure that Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q: How many Microsoft testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We just determine that the room is dark; we don't actually change the bulb. Since we have a dead-bulb result on file from a previous test, rest assured that Development is working on a bug fix.

Q: How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 57; one to write WinGetLightBulbHandle(), one to write WinQueryLightBulbStatus(), one to write..... 

*and my fave:*

Microsoft have announced that their latest Operating system - Windows NT is to be  named prior to its launch, to "Diana".
A spokesman from Microsoft said that it was in tribute to the late Princess of Wales and is a fitting name for a product that will look flash, be mostly superficial, consume vast amounts of resources and crash spectacularly.

Bernie     )


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## martinatkinson (Feb 17, 2002)

LOL!  Those are good ones Bernie!


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## PCSMASHER (Feb 17, 2002)

I stumbled onto these the other day and found that this would be the perfect place to post them.



http://www.wctc.net/~tazland/hell.jpg
http://www.wctc.net/~tazland/msdoj.jpg
http://www.albern-vermoegen.de/reina/fun/computer_pics.html

I thought these were neat...enjoy.


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## simX (Feb 17, 2002)

PCSMASHER:  Great links.    Did you notice that in the last picture of your third link, the monkeys are sitting around using Twentieth Anniversary Macintoshes?   Someone hacked on a Windows error dialog box, though -- can anyone translate that?


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## Alexandert (Feb 18, 2002)

common security malfunction       Or something like this!


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## wdw_ (Feb 18, 2002)

Here's a windows bashing song.

http://homepage.mac.com/macosx_pics/.Music/Windows 95 Sucks.mp3



I suggest that you control-click (or right click) the link and save this to your disk, because everytime I just click it, it just shows up as text.


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## voice- (Feb 19, 2002)

> _Originally posted by simX _
> *And I know someone else had the air conditioner one for their sig.. *



Is it really that hard to remember my name? I had it, think I'll put it back in


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## simX (Feb 19, 2002)

Sorry, voice, yes it is hard to remember your name.


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## martinatkinson (Feb 19, 2002)




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## unlearnthetruth (Feb 20, 2002)

lol.....lets see how many computer-illiterate windoze users i can freak out with that one..... thanks for all the responses guys, this is going great!


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## CloudNine (Mar 12, 2002)

How 'bout using XFree86 and X Window System environments like Enlightenment...

Hrmph, why isn't  code active on this thread!
[url]http://jester2988.lagparty.org/slogans.gif[/url]


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## voice- (Mar 13, 2002)

Bwa???


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## CloudNine (Mar 13, 2002)

Damn skippy!


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## macguy17 (Mar 13, 2002)

my signature


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## Code Master (Mar 13, 2002)

SimX


> PCSMASHER: Did you notice that in the last picture of your third link, the monkeys are sitting around using Twentieth Anniversary Macintoshes?



I thought they were 20th Anniversary Macs, but when I compared them to a picture I have (here) it isn't the same.. just similar.

Weird

Code Master
http://homepage.mac.com/codemaster/


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## genghiscohen (Mar 14, 2002)

Can't remember where I saw this one, but I'm not the author (wish I was!):
"A computer without Windows is like a cake without mustard."


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## Lessthanmighty (Mar 14, 2002)

I thought I could do it.  I really tried hard, I fought it all the way.  NOOOO!  There is no way.  Windows ME is so buggy I cant stand it.  What the hell is this?  10 minute start up?  Out the window this goes.

Just think, if everyone, who ever had any problem with windows, were to sue Mr. Bille Gates, he would be selling hot dogs on the street corner by now.  Why can't people organize and strike this maniac down before he owns or has a chance to copy everything decent on the planet.

Im going to take my medication now.


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## martinatkinson (Mar 18, 2002)

Hello!

Found a juicy sneak peak inside a real office taken out of a real security camera.

A PC USERS TYPICAL DAY:
http://www.myfamilycenter.org/PCUsersTypicalDay.mov

Enjoy  

Albert


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## macguy17 (Mar 18, 2002)

I didn't do it. =)


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