# Similarities between Microsoft and a toilet ...



## bjurusik (May 8, 2003)

Well, besides both being full of ...  ... <BR><BR>here


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## Rhino_G3 (May 8, 2003)

the "iLoo"??

Microsoft sympathizers were critical of Apple for the naming of their iLife suite... now microsoft goes and does it now


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## binaryDigit (May 8, 2003)

Whoa.  Now you know that M$ has waaay to much free money.  Must have been fun QA'ing that product.

BTW, what's up with the "plasma" screens?  Does that imply that they'll be larger than 19" (and thus the reason for not going with "standard" lcd).


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## mightyjlr (May 8, 2003)

who the hell is going to want to touch those keyboards and mice?


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## Giaguara (May 8, 2003)

I assume they have webcams on those..


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## ebolag4 (May 8, 2003)

lol Gia!

I can't believe this. This sounds like an SNL skit or something. I'll never make fun of the iWalk again!

(Hands a wet-wipe to everyone on the boards. Make sure you all wash up real good now.)


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## ebolag4 (May 8, 2003)

It will create new jobs, however, so it might not be too bad an idea


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## Rhino_G3 (May 8, 2003)

> _Originally posted by mightyjlr _
> *who the hell is going to want to touch those keyboards and mice? *



Completely with you on this one... I feel dirty just thinking about it.  It's using windows.

Oh yea, and the fact that it's in a bathroom is mildly discusting as well


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## Vyper (May 8, 2003)

> _Originally posted by mightyjlr _
> *who the hell is going to want to touch those keyboards and mice? *



ROFLMAO!!

Doesn't Apple have  a patent on iStuff?


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## Androo (May 8, 2003)

I think i'm going to be sick...
[goes over to the washroom and vomits in his iLoo!]
hahahahaha


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## bjurusik (May 9, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Androo _
> *I think i'm going to be sick...
> [goes over to the washroom and vomits in his iLoo!]
> hahahahaha *



lol.  "If you're gonna spew, spew in the iLoo!"


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## Tim (May 9, 2003)

I wonder if they'll make a companion system..."iWipe".  Maybe that should be "aWipe"...


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## Gnomo (May 12, 2003)

Interior Themes
The inside of the iLoo will be covered with liquid video screens so that you can customize the look of your bathroom.  Comes with the flowing preloaded themes:

Redmond field - looks like your toilet is in the middle of a field
Japanese - looks like you are in a japanese building
Plastic (default) - looks like you are in a port-a-john
Brushed metal - looks like everything is stainless steal (M$ always copies Apple)
South American - Added feature: the water flushes counter clockwise
Customizable Sounds
Various functions of the iLoo can have sounds associated with them.

Flush sound
Start up sound
Applause for if you don't pee on the toilet seat
Help Screens
At Microsoft we want to make your waste disposal experience as pleasant as possible, so we have included several help screens to assist you.

Instructions on how to urinate and defecate
If you need further assistance, or simply get lonely in the bathroom, we have created a digital companion: the iLoo assistant

Toilet with a face (default)
Bathroom attendant - can be male or female
Roll of toilet paper with eyes
Accessibility Options
Microsoft is aware the some people need larger bathrooms than others and we had those people in mind when we created the iLoo, so we included several accessibility options

Customizable size: adjusts for short or tall people
Asks you if you are alright if you sit on the toilet seat too long
Screen saver
Games
At Microsoft we are always looking for ways to make your bathroom experience more enjoyable, so we've added some unique games to the iLoo for your entertainment.

Toilet simulator 2003 - drive an iLoo around
Target practice - see if you can get it in the hole
Sim Toilet - The sims get an iLoo
iLoo Messenger
One of our goals at Microsoft is to incorporate MSN Messenger into everything we make, so we have created a special version of MSN Messenger especially for the iLoo.  While the first release will be very basic, future upgrades will include:

Video Chat
Send-a-smell
FAQ
While we haven't completed our frequently asked questions section yet, here is a list of questions we will be answering in the near future.

Is there a "start" button?
What is the difference between "flush" and "download"?
I though backup was a good thing.
Will there be an undo?
What exactly does it mean to send "feedback" to Microsoft?
What is the difference between iLoo Home and iLoo Pro
What does it mean "I P conflict"?
Known Issues
Microsoft currently has a list of known problems with the iLoo system, while we can't promise that they will be resolved before the fist products ship, we will are working on solving these issues

The iLoo occasionally gives a "disc is full" error which can only be resolved by completing a core dump
The iLoo occasionally has error with "TP.exe" running out of memory
Failure to run check disc will result in a stack overflow problem
Beta testers have reported that the iLoo gives a "brown screen of death" if the iLoo falls over
Failure to put down the toilet seat results in an illegal operation error
Failure to wash your hands will result in an improper shutdown message
If the iLoo crashes with an occupant, the user is locked inside
[/list=1]


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## Sano (May 13, 2003)

You guys make me want a new life but im to bored to even try.


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## Cat (May 13, 2003)

> Will there be an undo?



ROFLMAO!!!


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## Giaguara (May 13, 2003)

Hey, I want the startup and shutdown voices to flushing ...

And I will enjoy sending feedbacks to M$!!!


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## Androo (May 13, 2003)

Wait the "i" is apple's theme for dispensering!


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## pds (May 13, 2003)

Reach across the pond?!?!?! 

This is a Brit thing for sure!


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