Bullsh@t stories and utter lies

Mat

Mat

iSmell
I have a few friends who tend to tell unbeleivable and utterly bull crap stories. This is a place for you to tell about any such stories youv'e heard/told etc.

I'll start:

A friend of mine, let's call him Jo, was telling some friends and I about his cousin. He said that one day his cous pulled out his lawnmower's engine and attached it to his crossbow and somehow it could all of a sudden shoot out actual bolts of electricity. And he would walk around with this thing just shooting stuff.

What a jackass!

I know this isn't the greatest, however "Jo" has told many more farcicle stories which I'll post when I get time.

Mat
 
::ha:: ::ha:: ::ha:: ::ha:: ::ha::

ROFL! I want a lawnmower like that! Whenever my dad bugs me when I'm mowing the lawn, *ZAP* "Shut up, Aba!" :D I love my dad...

Our lawnmower actually runs on bolts of electricity... no gas involved at all. Much quieter, too.
 
C'mon peeps, I wanna hear some absolute crap.

OK I'll serve up another beauty. There's this guy who I go to uni with. He's about 40 years old, there's nothing wrong with that, but you can tell that he probably still lives with his parents and catches the bus to uni. Anyway, he is always talking complete crap to the lecturer, he says stuff like he is this master programmer and an awesome multimedia dude. You can also tell that he is probably running windows 3.1 on a super old 486 PC. One day he said to the lecturer that he designed, from scratch, this program better than Photoshop that has some sort of networking capabilities. Now if he could program something as good as, or even better as he claims, then he would not be at university studying multimedia, he'd be working for Adobe or Macromedia or something. He offered the lecturer a beta copy, which he refused in the belief that this guy was full of it. So we now call him Master-Beta.

Mat
 
my second year of college, a girl lived in our hall, who we finally realized (ok, it didn't take us long at all) was a pathological liar.

some quick snippets:

"My boyfriend [he was in the military, at a local base] had a tank fall on him today - but luckily he's only got a concussion!"

...uh...:eek:

"I was an underwear model in japan when I was 13/14. I was on a ton of mags and travelled around the world, doing modeling. But I got tired of that, so I stopped."
hmmm, she weighed about as much as me (approx 175), and was big boned-ed fo sho!

"Because of all the traveling in my modeling days, I've got a MILLION frequent flyer miles built-up."
I can only think of this, as Dr Evil saying, "1 MILLION frequent flyer miles! Muahhahahha!"
Anyway, I think there was a discrepency when she didn't transfer to ASU, because she couldn't get a good price on a plane ticket to fly down to arizona...



I'll see if I can remember more. she was a trip - and annoying as h311!!!
 
That tank line is GOLD.

Yeah I was hit by a train today, it's all cool though I just got a little dirty and broke a nail.
 
yeah, we enjoyed that one...whew! only a concussion. lucky guy!


I knew another guy in High School, who was given an Acura NSX (a year or so new at that point) by his grand dad, who got too many speeding tickets with it. But instead of ever driving it, he continued driving his crappy suzuki sidekick everywhere. When I was at his house, the NSX was out for repairs or something...must have been from all the driving he was doing in it.
 
Actually this is a joke here in Greece but it is based on people who tell BS stories all the time... :p

Anyway, here it is:
3 young people were discussing about their fathers powers and abilities...
The 1st one says: "My dad is SO big and strong that can beat anyone with a single punch. His height is 10 meters and once time he just punched a guy 2 meters tall who was a wrestler actually and that guy simply died... Thank God that my father was in self defense or else!"

And then goes the 2nd guy: "Nah! Your father may be stronger than other normal fathers but surely he cannot hold a candle compared to my father... My father is SO tall that he could just step over your father! He is taller than the tallest building of this world..."

And before the 2nd guys finishes the 3rd guy asks him: "Yeah! Yeah! I believe you! But tell me this: Is your father when stretch his arm towards the sky touches something soft?"

And the 2nd replies: "Actually, YES! You mean the clouds, right?"

And then the 3rd says: "No! I mean that he is surely touches my fathers b@lls!"

:D

I know, we greeks have weird sense of humor! :p :D :)
 
Oxford announced today that "MEOTIRGVKEJNRCFEIJK" is going to appear as an actual word in the english language. :D
 
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