Computer Stupidities

[monktus]

No doubt this sort of thing has been discussed before but I couldn't help mysef. From Computer Stupidities (http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/)....

Customer: "I stuck something in my printer, and now it doesn't work."

Tech Support: "What did you put in it?"

Customer: "It's a tortilla."

Tech Support: "Uh. How did you come to have a tortilla stuck in your printer?"

Customer: "I own a tortilla business. I thought it would be cool to print my logo on a tortilla."

Arf....

 

[Giaguara]

Old ... but good.

My favs from there:

" Friend: "Hey, cool Mac! Does it have Windows!?"
Me: (incredulous stare)
Friend: "Oh, wait, that was stupid. All Macs have Windows."

"Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah." etc ..

 

[hulkaros]

Somebody call the police! My computer just made an illegal operation!

OR

Cust: I'm trying for half an hour to click right where it says to click here (at the Start button) in order to start working (playing Solitaire actually ) but the computer doesn't respond...
Tech: blah-blah
Cust: blah-blah
Tech: blah-blah
Cust: Oooops! Sorry! I was clicking with this mouse device while I had it on the monitor and not on the desktop!

 

[Reality]

I dont have any quotes but this does happen to me often. Back when I used Windows, everyone came to me (as if I know what I was doing) to ask for help in doing this or that in Windows. It's just a funny thing that happens, you use Windows for a year and everyone thinks your good with it. Sad sad world.

 

[phatcactus]

I really think there should be some kind of training program that you'd have to go through before you could operate a computer. Kinda like having a driver's license.

It's sad that I'm serious.

 

[pds]

Customer- I need to order an new part for my computer...
Tech- What part do you need
Customer- The cup holder.
Tech- Huh?!?!?
Customer- Yeah the coffee cup holder tray that comes out when you push the button.

(Reportedly actual event called into Apple Tech Support. Wish it was a Wintel user )

 

[monktus]

My mum is pretty computer literate, she was using PageMaker before I had even used a Mac or PC back in the early nineties, but I caught her out a year or two ago. Someone sent me the url of a flash parody of windows, it showed a basic windows 98 desktop and when it loaded lots of 'dll not found' dialogs sprung up as well as other silly windows stuff, as you clicked OK them more would appear. I forwarded it to my mum at work and when she loaded it up on her PC, it displayed full screen. Since she was used to windows crashing and doing weird stuff, she thought that whatever I had sent her had crashed the system!

 

[voice-]

Originally posted by hulkaros
Somebody call the police! My computer just made an illegal operation!

Reminds me of a story.
I've been an illiterate myself when it came to computers. Windows, that is...

I used an Amiga until I was about 6 years old, then we got a Windows PC. I hated it since most of my games were now replaced my Solitaire and Tetris. On the other hand I loved Tetris...used it till I was 8.
Then we got a Mac with (which was great at the time) a CD-ROM. This lasted us very long, till it was finally replaced my an iMac.
About that time I took a working week (school kids do that here to adjust to the working life more easily and to get a clue on what jobs are about) as administrator of a college network. I did it out of love for "computers" (which meant Macs, what I knew). All other staff was normal, so wasn't needed or anything.
There I was, in a Windows world with no Windows experience.

I was gonna take the oppertunity to copy a PlayStation game (perfectly aware it was not legal), so I bought a CD-R and put it in the PC's burner and put the PSX game in the CD-ROM and clicked copy. After 4% it said "This computer has performed an illegal operation"
Imagine my face at the time as I was reaching for the power-cord and heard sirens outside...

Of course, in later time I learned that this was the way Windows is built and the most illegal thing about it is that MS can still sell the buggy thing...

 

[Arden]

Wow, I like that one, voice! So you actually heard sirens as the computer told you that it had committed an illegal operation? Classic.

Then there's this perversion of an actual tech support call to Apple:

Caller: Yes, I'm having trouble with my printer.
Tech support: Well, is it color or black and white?
Caller: Well, it's... beige.