phatcactus said:
And although I fear the explanation, why 11 notes? Aren't there 12? Pleeease tell me there are still 12...!
You know, I KNEW that would be adding yet more confusion!

We have a 12 tone system in each octive, but since the first and last note in this range are the same, that is why I said 11 letters.
A A# B C C# D D# E F F# G G# A
= 12 - right, but "A" is listed twice in the octave.
So if we made "theory more usable" by getting rid of flats and sharps and just use somthing like:
A B C D E F G H I J K A
we still have the same 12 tone scale, but only need 11 letters to do that. You know what, I don't think that would make things easier!
Any way, theory is really interesting, but you know what, there are plenty of great muscians who don't know much theory and plenty of boring ones who do - of course the opposite is also true too. I learned theory for jazz, but was always amazed at how the really good jazz muscians know so much about theory to the point they don't even think about it when they play over tunes that change key every two beats - they just know what they want to do and do it. Some go even further by breaking all rules and making it work. Achieving that kind of level is insane for most humans. On the flip side, I think the only way you can be a great blues player is to not know much about theory! As soon as you start adding all those extra notes, you can lose the whole essence of it! Know what I mean?
P.S. If you are ever playing blues with a snotty/jerk/arrogant... horn player, call out a blues in any key but F or Bb and you will more than likely ruin his day - plain old B will really screw them up unless they know their stuff!
Any way - that's really funny about your family notes! See, you were able to associate sounds with ideas/moods without any theory. I'd take a good ear over theory any day! Maybe you should write a song in Garage Band, then use the software to transpose it to F# (or some other sharp/flat heavy key) and play it for all those mean family members!
Any, though I suppose I know a bit about theory it does help me appreciate certain musicians/composers like Thelonius Monk, Duke Ellington or Bach. But these same people knew how to really "say something" in a non-quantifiable emotional way too. At the same time I simply love Earl Scruggs (banjo player and did the Beverly Hills music - was even on a few shows) and Neil Young. These two (the latter) just write great songs and simple melodies and that is all you need some times!
One more story in my endless babbling. In my little music room/office, I have a print out framed on my wall of a transcription of an insanely complex improvised sax solo by John Coltrane, someone who REALLY knew his theory. Some guy took the time to transcribe the entire solo and showed it to John Coltrane. His reaction was something like, "I could never play this." I think that says something important about getting to analytical about music!