Things are gonna be better

[Trip]

"Sometimes I want to get lost in the dark and dream for a while"

Am I messed up or what? Is it wrong to want to dream of the past, even though it was so long ago? I love thinking of how things were, and then think of how things are are I feel bad because it's not how I want to be living.

Even more so...I LOVE hearing about other peoples lives. I LOVE it when people tell me happy memories they have of their childhood, and I wish I could have had those moments in my life.

One thing that keeps popping up in my head is like six years ago my brother and me would rollerblade down to a nearby waterpark every saturday...just us together, listening to our tape players, sharing some brotherly love. I feel so happy thinking about those times. I remember he kept telling me every time we went up there, with his arms around the steel gate, "I'm going to work here when I get older", and a few years later he did get to work there. Two years in a row as a head lifeguard. But I feel bad because a few years after that we started fighting. And we never really got along like we used to. But just remembering those days makes me so happy to be alive.

Why do I want to remember so badly? Is it a disorder that I want to know about other peoples happy memories? I feel so worthless, like right now for example, but when I hear those stories I feel like...I dunno...I just feel like everything is perfect in the world when I'm imagining those stories like I'm there. But then school, church, friends, work, everything just brings me down. It's not where I want to be and what I want to be doing, but it's the only way the world will approve of me (?)...I want to live in those happy days again.

When the summers were long, full of love, and every day held something new and exciting. I want those days. Can I get them again?

"I sit alone in the backyard, wishing I could be inside, the sound of a little girl laughing, makes me happy just to be alive"

 

[MDLarson]

Dude... I'm listenening to Champagne Supernova right now, and I'm shuffling my entire collection by song! That's kinda cool.

To make this post relavant; I remember listening to Oasis in high school some years ago!

 

[Randman]

Watch Lost In Translation and About Schmidt. Seriously, you sound more bored than anything else. The branding thing aside, you're probably feeling a little aimless and looking to get out of the rut.
Take up some new challenges. Do something different. If you're a creature of habit, find new habits.

 

[chemistry_geek]

YOU are the only one who going to change your life. If you're not happy with how things are, you need to change. I suppose a starting point would be to imagine where you want to be, living the life you desire, and thinking of a plan (of action) and implementing it step by step toward reaching your goals. If you're in high school or college and need some FREE help, go see a counselor (psychologist). S/he will not "fix" your problems for you, only you can do that, but s/he can steer you into new directions, and help you explore new possibilities.

 

[MDLarson]

My apologies for appearing a little cavalier about this thread; in hind-sight, my light-hearted post should probably not have been made.

Trip, I think that a big part of your nostalgia is pretty normal. Longing to be a care-free kid again is a very normal thing, I think. Sometimes I just wish I could be 10 again to start things out fresh and new, and to a time where the world was a lot bigger.

I personally draw a lot of support from a large family, and even from family members with whom I've had pretty big fights. If you can patch things up with your brother, go for it! It's a shame to see two brothers who can't stand each other at family get-togethers (like my dad and my uncle).

Since you mentioned that you attend church, I'm assuming you're a Christian. Christianity is inherently optimistic! If your church is dragging you down, you need to find a different church! The church I attend only meets in a school gym, but our pastor is such an inspiration for joy, not to mention our fellow believers. It's important to focus on the victory of Christ because we live in a such a broken (and distracting) world.

If you try to live your life pleasing others, you won't give yourself enough attention to live for you.