Sure. Sorry if I added to the confusion.
Passive mode being greyed out when switching to SFTP would be an indication that it is a feature that is not supported / needed when using SFTP, so no worries there. That just confirms what I was saying earlier, and is completely normal.
So, by your first message, I'm making the following assumptions:
1) You're using a Mac locally
2) You're trying to use SFTP rather than FTP to connect to a server somewhere on the internet, since you mentioned that your ISP is not blocking port 22.
3) Port 22 is not blocked between you and your server, where ever it sits, because you can SSH to it, and SFTP runs over SSH, so if it were blocked, neither one would work.
What I need to determine before I can possibly help further is the following:
1) What operating system is running on the server that you're trying to SFTP to?
2) Do you control the server (able to make administrative changes), or does someone else do that for you?
3) If you end up having to edit configuration files on the remote server over an SSH connection, are you familiar with vi / vim (I am assuming that the remote server is running some variation of UNIX, and is not a Windows server)?
If you do not control the server that you are trying to SFTP to, things get kind of simple (but then again, maybe not). If you do not have the ability to make administrative changes to the server in question, then contact whoever does, and ask them if their SSH server has the SFTP subsystem enabled, and if it's not, see if they will enable it for you.
If you can make administrative changes to the server in question, then my previous reply would stand. If you would need help making those changes, let me know and I'll walk you through it as best as I can.
Basically, what we need to determine is if the SSH server in question supports / has enabled the SFTP subsystem. If it does not, then that would explain why SSH works but SFTP does not.
Let me know what you find out.