Mac Retorts


Unofficial Mac Genius
I know this is purely non-technical, but I'm SURE it will get more traffic here...

What's your best retort to someone after they say "I'm sorry for you." when you tell them you use a Mac.

Mine would be, "I'm sorry you feel threatened by a platform that only has 5% market share." :D


Unofficial Mac Genius
Oh, and then I would say.... "Oh, wait, I guess you have reason to feel threatened." :D


Staff member
If someone says he's sorry for you using a mac, then he certainly doesn't feel threatened. Your answer would not only NOT be a quick and good one, it would even be a sad one.

If someone feels sorry you're using macs, tell them you're sorry, too. That you don't quite understand what made you use macs in the first place. That maybe it's all just some error on your behalf. and then let them tell you why pc's are better. play 'interested'. and then, one by one, take his reasons apart, so he finally ends up loving macs. :)


All your base are belong
"Windows computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Dell, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with more than 600 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form."    — New York Times, November 26, 1991.


Originally posted by simX

What's your best retort to someone after they say "I'm sorry for you." when you tell them you use a Mac.

Let's see...
If the "someone" is a windoze user:

"Ur platform is the one most popular with constant email worms,
intruder port scans, trojans and viruii.
Bubba...U victims and Ur platform's vandals are beyond pathos."


"Oh?...Why is that?....
Is it because U love the given act of constantly reformating Ur Hard Drive(s)...??"


"Now why is that?
Are U one of those who thinks the Mac is a toy computer?
Let me do my productive DTP work and DV editing while U play all those pc-games...
...or earn Ur living as a fixit parasite in the corporate IT department."

hey...this is fun thinking up stuff.
...but right now i need some sleep.



Attack back in their weak spot. Say "sorry I don't have to worry about viruses with every email I download or web page I look at?"

BTW, I LOVE that quote, Carlo.


No Wh9ing!
"With a comment like that, I'd be willing to bet you've never even used a Mac."

If they then say, "Yes I have."

Then probe to find out when it was. Most PC users I've run in to have actually used a Mac, but it was back in 1995 or somesuch. I've been using Macs since 1987 and 1995 was not a pretty year for Apple, much less Mac OS.

Comments like that are best dealt with by demonstrations of why Mac OS is clearly better. I for one carry my Titanium/500/512/mb/20GB everywhere I go.

If I get in to that conversation, I open up 6 QuickTime movies and play them all... with sound.

Or pop in The Matrix and play MP3s while watching the movie and working in my email program.

Or bust out a game of Unreal Tournament/Tomb Raider Chronicles/Quake III Arena with my own iTunes soundtrack. Better than that is to be on the internet and stream it. :)

Think of it this way: Mac OS X.1 is what Windows XP wants to be without all of the fluff and bloat that Microsoft is famous for.

"If everyone else jumped off a bridge, apparently you would too." "The best version of Office actually runs on Mac OS X, wanna see?"

Oh yeah, one more thing... if they say Mac OS sucks, you can proudly say: "Yeah, Mac OS 9 sucks for sure. But OS X KICKS ASS!" :)


It's almost ironic that you guys start a topic like this.... I'm pretty much a lone mac user on my wireless university....everyone else, including myself, was given an IBM thinkpad from the school (about 2200 students, private university in Oklahoma City). I get flamed from using my mac all the time. The latest major flame was "Oh, you're still using that mac? I'm sorry." Of course I retorted, "Why? I'm definitely not!" What's really weird was that this guy is and advertising/design major and I told him that he'd eventually be a mac guy if he continues with his major. He retorted that he'll probably end up doing web development...!??? Ignorance really is bliss ;)



Barking at the moon.
You know, I'm by no means a mac addict. This iBook is actually my first computer. I got it on campus because I needed a computer, I thought a laptop would be the best and the dorms I was living in at the time were completely wireless so I went with the Airport card and stuff.

Anyhoo, I've only had one guy give me crap for having Mac, and this dude a complete computer nerd. I mean, typical dork that sits at home on IRC, listening to RATM on Winamp thinking he's a badass at 10:00 on friday night. All I did was stand up and ask him what his problem was .. the dude practically pissed himself as he forced out "nothin'" and walked away.

I guess all you have to do is look at these lemmings like they're dumber than shit and say nothing. They're impossible to reason with, history has proven that. So just be bigger than them and say nothing. (of course it all depends on the situation)


Originally posted by zerologic
"With a comment like that, I'd be willing to bet you've never even used a Mac."

If they then say, "Yes I have."

Then probe to find out when it was. Most PC users I've run in to have actually used a Mac, but it was back in 1995 or somesuch.

Hrm, that's true. While I don't run into mac bashing much these days - primarily because windows users aren't so enthralled with their own OS anymore, back in '97 when I got a lot of flak for using a mac, the biggest complaint I heard is that "macs suck because they aren't in colour". They had been in colour for years! I also remember when apple dropped the floppy drive, PC users thinking this was dumb because "how could you boot up in an emergency?". They didn't know know we could boot from CD - most PCs then couldn't.


Barking at the moon.
In reality, about 1/4 of students that own computers at my U. have macs and probably another 1/4 wish they had macs. Most of our campus is on a wireless network. Macs have the easiest time connecting to it. Before you can transfer files to and from the school's servers (which you have to do a lot) your computer has to be authorized with the latest anti-virus software .. unless you have a Mac.

The best thing is, all the chics like 'em. They think that macs are 'cute' which is fine by me cause it gets 'em talkin to you. Heh, that sounds kinda desperate so I'll stop now.