US May Be Close to Finding Cheney!!

ScottW

ScottW

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U.S. MAY BE CLOSE TO FINDING CHENEY

Oil Stocks Rally on Rumors

The U.S. may be close to finding Vice President Dick Cheney for the first time since he disappeared in late 2001, sources close to the search for Mr. Cheney revealed today.

While the White House refused to comment on the rumors indicating that the U.S. was ?closing in? on Mr. Cheney, oil stocks rallied on the speculation that the missing Vice President might soon be located.

?Oil investors hate uncertainty,? said Joe Belson, a petroleum stock analyst for Morgan Stanley. ?Knowing that Dick Cheney is alive and well makes them feel like they?ll be taken care of.?

While officials conducting the search for Mr. Cheney would not specify the Vice President?s precise coordinates, speculation centered on a PGA golf course in one of the Western states.

One official said that a laptop seized from Credit Suisse First Boston?s fallen star Frank Quattrone contained a ?treasure trove? of information that may have aided in the search for the elusive veep, but he added that optimism about finding Mr. Cheney remained ?guarded at best.?

?As anyone at the General Accounting Office can tell you, in Richard Cheney we are dealing with a sneaky, sneaky man,? the official said.

?He is also a master of disguise,? the official warned. ?Remember, during the 2000 campaign, he posed as a ?compassionate? conservative.?

In other international news, the White House today attempted to galvanize U.N. support for its Iraq policy by issuing a list of one million more reasons to go to war with Iraq.

?In our view, these million reasons are better than one good reason,? press secretary Ari Fleischer said.

The Borowitz Report
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someone is bothering to look for him? :p

hey scott - we seem to have picked up some kind of weirdness - apostrophes are coming out as question marks. i wonder if this is a vB bug as it has started showing up in pm's at another site as well. 'see'

weird, it doesn't work when i post it.
 
I already met this problem wwith quotes in my posts. The problem is with curly quotes, the one I obtain by typing option+quote. Rigid quotes are OK, the curly or French typographic quotes won't show properly.
Same applies to most 128+ ASCII characters: for example, if I type alt+dot, I don't obtain ... but ?
 
The quote-questionmark problem is a mark of microsoft. That is one of their "smart quotes" which uses a non-standard character code. Us unix geeks have never been able to see that correctly. (As I understand it MS is breaking an ISO standard with there little trick so those of us seeing ? are actually following the standard.)

Now if the page encoding for this web page was set to tell the browser that this page was in "windows" instead of Latin1 then the quote might well have rendered correctly. As it stands there is not content encoding tag so my guess is that it defaults to US-ASCII or Latin1, that may also explain the problem with French letters as I am not sure that all those characters are int he latin1 set.

-Eric
 
I didn't know about that either, until my dad happend to mention something about it yesterday.
Apparently what happend is that Cheney is in hiding because he is part of some secret 'alter-government', which it supposed to be able to run the country should the President become 'Comprimised'.
I don't know anything more than this, but now that I think about it, it does seem sort of strange that I haven't heard anything about Mr. Vice President for quite a while.
 
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