Hate to keep asking the same questions, so I'll be more detailed about the connector. A male connector has metal pins, like wires. The IDE connector will usually have 40 pins. The female connector has sockets that those pins/wires plug into, that is, an open socket, with 40 sockets, matching the layout of the opposite connector.
Which do you have on your old hard drive - rows of pins (male), or rows of sockets (female)?
I've never seen a hard drive with a female connector, and I've got dozens of old, dead hard drives around here. Is it possible that there is already an adapter attached to the hard drive - reversing the actual connection?
added note: 4 connectors on the ribbon cable? Are you sure? One single IDE ribbon cable has either 1 connector on each end (total 2), or one more in the middle somewhere for a total of 3. IDE buses only support 2 drives on one cable, so the max on one cable is 3 connectors, with the third connecting to the IDE bus, either a card, or directly to the mother/logic board.
What do you have again?
You know, a couple of pictures would probably help a lot.
Any chance the drive looks like this?
If so, then you don't have an IDE drive at all, but a SCSI drive. And, you should have the proper IDE cable, just sitting not used. You just have to hunt that one out. Or, you might see an identical connector to your hard drive, but on the back corner of your logic board, perhaps with no cable.
Let us know what you find out.