Try this:
Go to the Finder, and go to the preferences (under the Finder menu). Now check the box "Keep a window's view the same when opening other folders in the window". This should keep it the same.
I find that as long as I have this item checked, and I have the Finder remember that new windows should have column view, then it all works out fine. Of course, I like icon view better, and that's normally the default anyway, so *shrug*.