What To Do With Idiots Who Start Bogus Rumors

What To Do With False Rumor Starters

  • Death By Falling Flower iMacs (thrown from second story of Apple headquarters).

  • Stoning (substitute old Apple Mice for rocks).

  • Electrcution By Faulty PowerBook Power Supplies

  • Sow Their Mouths Shut With Dental Floss

  • Tell Them To Shut The Heck Up (iWalk my a$$)!

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GadgetLover

GadgetLover

Senior Member & Tech Guru
All idiots who start bogus rumors without even so much as heresay evidence (let alone actual, credible and material evidence) should be sentenced to death by rumor ... "I heard you will be electrocuted."

"I heard you were going to be stoned to death."

"My friend's cousin told me that his monkey's uncle said that he heard on Rikki Lake that someone knew someone that saw on Heraldo that you were going to be drowned in your own stool samples."

"I heard that Steve Jobs was going to whip you with an old Apple Mouse with a really long cord."
 
Apple has injected mice with the Mac OS X source code DNA. The Mice can now do twice the amount of work (and eat as much cheese) in half the amount of time; and they don't crash into walls as much because of protected memory. Also, they are more energy efficient and don't crap as much. However, these Super Mice still can't operate Wintel PCs because as one scientist put it, "even genetically engineered super mice can't work a $hitty operating system that is so complicated that it has to be called 'Windows 3.1/95/98/Me/2000/NT/XP' instead of "OS X."

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Best quote of the day:
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Originally posted by chemistry_geek
More tidbits from the grapevine...

Consider this:

"Big, even for our standards"
"Count the days, count the minutes, count on being blown away"
"Beyond the rumour sites, way beyond"
"A backstage pass to the future"

Apple will become a whole-owned subsidiary of Micro$oft. OS X for intel will be released and Windows XP will be discontinued at the advice of the NSA. IBM will purchase Intel and discontinue the x86 architecture in favor of the PowerPC architecture. The G6 will be released at 3.1 THz with a eight 512-bit IBM-designed Altivec units. Motorola files for Chapter 11 Bancruptsy protection. iMacs will have the new G5 chip running at 1.8 GHz.

This is all FACT, I tell you, all true!!! I heard it from the RUMOR sites, and I BELIEVE THEM...
Click to expand...
 
You know...

Steve Jobs and all our good friends at Apple are laughing their arsses off right now at all the speculation. It seems that Steve did a pretty good job of plugging all those moles around the Apple Campus in Cupertino. In a sadistic sort of way, I can see Steve running around Apple head quarters in a black leather outfit and shot gun in hand (just like the scene where the father in "People Under The Stairs" goes hunting for the crooks) and shouting in a country hick's voice "I'm gonna kill you..." and a minute later....WHACK! A lead (as in the element, Pb) injection of the traumatic kind. It's the dirt nap baby! Gotta plug those leaks..."Oh, that made me VERY angry, VERY angry".
 
well my vote is none of the above.

make em use nothing but a windows pc till next macworld.:p

they will never do it again!!!
 
All the speculation that has followed recently is SECRETLY an Apple Public/Consumer Research Brainstorming Event to get us to tell Apple what we all really want. They will then dissemintate all the information and construct the product that would have the features most sought by the public. Damn clever if you ask me. And Apple doesn't lose any technology or loose "the edge" because everyone thinks "a fool would only try to make that product". Apple probably has all the technology, it just needs to know how to put it all together. Apple provides the hype and we provide the ideas. If you ask me, this a better way of making money and pleasing customers than most other companies. Why have a marketing research department when your customerbase already serves the purpose, and it's free.

Thinking Outside the Box.
 
I heard that one guy said that one dude told him while drunk and stoned that he heard from some comma victim that his doctor's friend's brother's girlfriend's sister's friend told him that Apple just might release something new at MacWorld....

SHUT UP! Just wait and see... what, no one can wait one or two days to find out?! I can't wait to see all those "its a fact!" rumor starters eat crow when their rumors prove to be B.S.

If you-personally-have CONFIRMED and DOCUMENTED evidence of information, fine, but all of you heresay passer-on-ers (not a real word, I know) zip it, pleeeeaasasse.
 
so now that it is over, please do not destroy those flower power macs!! someday they will become time stamped collectors items. our grandchildren deserve to look back at them and say "that's funny looking!!! did they really make computers like that?"

:D
 
Nobody is forcing you to read rumor sites. They've proven themselves unreliable time & time again, but you still read them, and expect their posts to be truthful? What should your punishment for self-inflicted delirium be? :D
 
This is not the point. They keep occupying precious space, their headlines may attract you and above all, you can never known whether you're listening a reliable information or not. The fact that one gets reading their posts does not transfer their misuse of the toll to him. Sorry to say that, but you're wrong.
 
I'm gonna have to agree with Jadey on this one. Time after time, stupid, unbelievable rumors have been started and passed around the internet, and time and time again the same fools fall for the headlines reading, "WOW! Cool new Apple-branded Ferrari is gonna be at the MacWorld Expo and I've got pics!" only to stumble across some very BADLY Photoshopped images that are obviously fake.

Kudos to the individual who took the time and patience to make the infamous "iWalk" videos. You fools who jump at any "Apple-rumor" headline deserved that one. Ha. I have to say it convinced me at first, but I didn't go jumping up and down, passing the rumor on and on only to look stupid myself. I can understand a considerable amount of excitement over new products and speculations, but it seems we've taken on more than a handful of fools who soil their pants every time they see an Apple logo. Having team spirit is one thing -- being over-zealous is another.

To the person who commented on people with no patience -- word. The Expo's almost over (well, Apple's new product intro is at least) and we've seen what there was to have seen. It's amazing, breakthrough stuff that was released. Imagine if NO ONE had started ANY rumors about what we might have seen and then Steve Jobs did this bit -- EVERYONE would have had their socks knocked off at the sight of a new iMac, larger iBook and iPhoto software. Apple didn't hype too much. They hyped just right. You fools who like to speculate about G5 processors and quad-processor desktops and an LCD iMac that costs $600 are the only ones that feel disappointed by the keynote. You brought it on yourself.
 
Take it easy franco, Jadey is entitled to her opinion as much as you are. In my opinion she's absolutely right.

When it comes to rumors; Don't get yourself too high in the tree, because once gravity gets a hold...

Basically I keep hearing the same tune. This person said that, this site said this. Then you get all riled up thinking it's gonna be awesome, and unlike anything else. "This MacWorld they'll finally release a Quantum Physics Mac. It will teleport you from MacWorld to your house and back faster than light!"
Then you find out it's just 10.1.3 and it will help redraw windows slightly faster. http://www.spymac.com is not a factual site practially ever. http://slashdot.org will tell you straight up that "this is still unconfirmed however." http://www.theonion.com is pure truth. :p

Wouldn't it be better to not listen to rumor? I for one don't read them because I know I will be disappointed everytime. Rumors are fun, but not fact. I see 80% of people saying MacWorld keynote sucked. "That's it?" What did you want? Quit reading the rags, and focus on the facts. Check more than one source, and check out legitimate places. Also look to history. Steve clearly said that Apple was not going to go into the PDA market, at least right now. That doesn't mean he'll do it next quarter, it means a PDA theoretically may come out in two to three years. Once again, rumors are fun, but if business ran on rumors unemployment would be 99% (With the 1% being rumor newspapers and websites) Dotcommer management went mainly on business rumors. Try this vendor, they're up and coming. Then they flop two weeks later. Look where that got America.

Stay on the ground, and you'll feel fine when everyone comes falling down. ;)
 
Please, dream all you want!!!!! I want an Apple PDA! I will dream about that until it happens. Now if someone (SpyMac) presents something as a rumor or "going to happen", hang them by their earlobes and beat them with SCSI Cords. It would be nice if a PDA came out at MacWorld Tokyo because Japan is nuts about techgadgets. Now I said it would be nice, NOT it is coming out. There is a big difference.

DREAM! WISH! LUST! WANT! I DON"T CARE! JUST DON"T SAY"RUMOR"!
 
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