why does Mail.app with addressbook default to work email addy?

Can you be more specific?

Are you having trouble with the default address that Mail.app uses when you send mail (ie, YOUR email address) or are you talking about the recipient's address when you type someone's name into the "To:" field?

In my experience, when I send an email TO someone and fill their name out in the "To:" field, Mail defaults to the first email address listed in that recipient's Address Book entry. It also defaults MY address (the sending address) to the account designated as the default account in Mail.app's preferences.
 
for sending emails....I did try to rearrange the addresses but it didn't seem to make a difference. It defaults to this person's work address no matter what I do!
 
Just pause a few seconds with your cursor on the address and the alternate email addresses should show up then you can scroll down and select the one you want.
 
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