Yo! Tony F! Google ME and let me know what you find out.
I was a bodyguard for Notorious B.I.G. (and a bunch of other celebs who are still alive, by the way), so I should certainly say that I'm in a position to admonish YOU, and hereby inform you that you are no longer a member of the National League of Bodyguards with Big Muscles.
Please turn in your NLBBM membership card by the end of the day. Your behavior is not becoming of someone claiming to be of your stature, and is in violations of the Terms and Conditions which you agreed to when you joined our little "Flex Our Big Muscles On The Internet Where Muscles Don't Mean Squat" bodyguarding ballet dancing group.
Keep on truckin' with that eMac of yours. Real bodyguards run Windows 3.1, anyway.