The Mac Jargon Dictionary

ROFL! When is USC due? :p

Mouse: cute, tiny, one buttoned furry creature, that pervert genome hackers have turned into monstruous multi-button / wireless / scrollwheel enhanced frankensteins!

Terminal: the last thing you'd be looking for in a splendid GUI lik OS X.

Safari: iApp with a typo (now it's an Appi)

BlueTooth: new lifestyle trend, replaces the golden ones.

.Mac: hidden Mac.
 
i expect we'll see USB.1 before USC
(symphonix - that was the best one yet :p )

Firewire - the tangle of cords running to peripherals that cause potential fire hazard.
Floppy Disk - the originl hard drive, now the computer equivilent of dust
Floppy Disk Drive - dust collection unit
External Hard Drive - a strap on
Slot Loader - 1) can be seen in Nevada, commonly has a large supply of coins on hand 2) slang for a promiscuous woman
megabyte - used when eating an imac
ibook - a self help program for improving self esteem
Powerbook - a self help motivational program for career advancement (also availble on audio cassettes)
TiBook - the ancient wisdoms of the philosopher Ti. aids in enlightenment
Desktop - a flat surface that is either obsessively clean and spotless or excessively cluttered with indistinguishable objects, despending upon the individual's style of expression of anal retentive qualities
Wallpaper - how many times do i have to tell you - THIS IS NOT A MAC TERM!!!
 
Internet Explorer: It's endless mission (starting the app) is to CRAWL along through the internet, an repeadtly crash like no other before.

.Mac: Newage spinoff of the band, Fleetwood Mac.
 
Bus speed: A vehicle with a bomb onboard.
Monitor: Those kids that bullies beat up.
Superdrive: Think of some of the spam you get...
iSync: Help! Quicksand!
Microsoft Word: See "'Helper' virus."
"Helper" virus: A malicious line of code included in Microsoft Office to purposely destroy your formatting and sentence structures.
Grab: ...Yup. You can make this definition on your own.
SSH: What Apple tells rumor sites sometimes.

Yes, I know I'm lame. :D
 
no ricky, isync, helper virus and ssh all made me laff. :p

ssh was the best one though :D

(hey, why do you think i do 6-7 at a time? i figure i gotta hit with at least one that way :D )
 
Icon: An object that is worshipped religiously in certain subcultures. See: iMac, PowerMac, PowerBook, iPod and Jobs ...

Wozniak: Famed for inventing the dial-a-joke, the wearable Java server, the self-heating pizza and ten-storey Tetris. He also invented some sort of computing device called a "Personal Computer", though it was never as popular.

Software Pirates: A peculiar kind of virus that causes your Mac to walk with a swagger, swear a lot, drink a lot, get into fights and prompt you with "Ach! Cap'n! Thar be email!"

Developer's Tools: Tongs, rubber gloves, plastic tray, red light and a really dark room.

Chip: Nutritional supplement. In the US, these are known as 'French Fries'.

Cinema Tools: Popcorn maker.

 
Newton: The famed Isaac Newton, discoverer of the law of gravity!

NewtonBook: A book of poetry that Mr Newton was writing the day he discovered gravity

NewtonScript: A language that Mr Newton made up after he was hit over the head with a rotten apple. Saddly this language is now criptic and no one can understand it.

Dongle: A keychain prototype that newton was working on. This obscure device got it's name due to the fact that it was dongling from his pants.

Rosetta: Newton's girlfriend, surprizingly she could read his handwritting and decipher his Newtonscript

Egg Freckles: After having received a bump on the head from a rotten apple, Newton picked up the hobby of egg painting, his adversaries thought he had not talent and thought the paint looked like Freckles on an egg, thus the name for all his defunct creations ;)

Stylus: What Newton named his writing instrument after that fateful day under the tree.

PCMCIA: The CIA's files on PreCommunism Manuscripts. Manuscripts are stored here and studied for possible secret messages. Newtonbooks are stored in here! (coincidence? I think not!)

Infrared: One of the colors that Newton tried to use on his "egg freckles" --- only he could see it unfortunatelly.

Silo: the place where newton stored his grain after harvest.
 
Shake: See Kendall's avatar.
Quicktime: The amazing effect that happens when one uses software by the same name to watch videos, esp. when MacWorld keynotes take place.
MacWorld keynote: A religious holiday for Mac addicts. Usually held twice a year, Mac geeks from all over the country gather to watch Steve Jobs deliver an address of Mac enlightenment. Also seen all over the world from the mountaintop of Internet.
Genius Bar: It's not a bar, that's for sure.
 
X-Windows: Two FBI agents investigate unexplained windows that appear on a remote corner of the desktop, abduct icons, mutilate documents, then vanish without a trace.

Perl: Swine pre-processor language.

Server: Those who wait on the rich and powerful. In ancient Egypt and China, Unix were used.
 
I have just done some cutting and pasting and have started compiling the list. We have over 110 definitions!
I had to put Admiral's Newton definitions separate or else they wouldn't make as much sense.
I will see what I can do about putting them together as a web-page, with appropriate credits, of course.
I hope that isn't all of them!
 
The newton terminology part II:

Router: A precursor to the modern day zipper... it wasn't very popular with the ladies though.

Formulas: What newton wrote in his notes

Data Soups: An alphabet soup of Newton's times. Quite tasty.

Newtscape: Properly pronounces "Newt's cape", what newton was wearing when it was raining.

NewtonWorks: The failed construction company that Isaac founded. The unions killed his profit.

Newton ID: The precursor to the modern day ID card. It utilized Gravity coefficient quotients to make a UIN (Unique ID number) for the ID.

Styles: What Newton ignored when he made the router

eWorld: Precursor to the iApps. "e" was later trademarked by M$ for explorer and they changed the name to "i"

Backlight: Mideval concept of backscreen projection. Precursor of the shadow theater.

Beam: A beam of light used to send signals to his wife telling her what he wanted for dinner. Morse later pattented this method of communication.

Dock: Place where newton went for fresh fish.

Neko: Newton's european Tomagochi. Imported from japan pets were too expensive at the time.
 
Hyperthreading: 1) what pentiums do.
2) posting a lot on MacOSX.com.

Hyperventilation: what the (allegedly overclocked) PowerMacs had.

Windows Manager: Bill Gates

Windows Server: every windoze user

iPod: the first Pod, to be followed by the iiPod, the second Pod.

X-serve: poor random peasant

Rack: torture device for X-Serves

RTFM: complete edition in Rich Text Format of the popular MAN pages.

iMac: proud statement made by Mac users. Usually followed by the question "Do uMac 2?" (See: toMac v.)

toMac: Conj.: iMac, uMac, heMacs, weMac, uMac, theyMac.

toSMac: 1) action of fetishists kissing their Mac.
2) What Mac users do to windoze users.
 
iCal: When going on a diet, the doctor tells one to watch his/her calorie intake. Upon finding out how much a diet stinks, the individual says, "Screw it! iCal!!" And he/she proceeds to binge.
Fetch: Get the disk, boy!
Computer virus: A destructive executable. Apple computers are immune to more than 99 percent of these.

Gateway: The doors to Hell.
Dell: Rhymes with Hell.
Compaq: Compact Hell.
Windows: syn.: Hell.
Microsoft: syn.: Software. (See above definitions. ;) )
Bill Gates: See "Satan."

Sorry about the abuse of the word Hell. Trying to make a point. :D
 
iCab: What Japanese tourists mistakenly call NYC cabbies
Sherlock: a man who couldn't admit he was ever wrong
Project Builder: procrastinator's list of things to do tomorrow
HFS: Highly Formulated Shakes
SuperDrive: a souped-up Corvette
 
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